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Date: October 6, 2022
I've no issue with that but if you express things with your wife then i don't understand why your edit said you didn't need to tell her? There are ways to communicate this without apportioning blame or making it sound inappropriate
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Further context here,
Till today we have not tried extensively to have baby and we were just about to begin trying but things went south, there were times in this duration where our parents kept asking about having baby, my mom took one step ahead and went to doctor along with my wife to find out if anything is wrong clinically although we have been telling her everything was alright, understandably by wife didn't take this well and since I don't like confrontation I let the incidence pass and then later spoke to my mom it was not a right thing to do, at that moment she didn't take me seriously, she went about talking to other family member about this, again my wife didn't take this well, one day we sat and had a conversation where my wife told my mom that there was nothing wrong clinically and we did have a pregnancy and we terminated dude to restriction to travel and we could not be with each other to enjoy the pregnancy, my dream is to always stay with my wife and look after her in this period. Again my mom didn't take this well, she might have gone around telling close family that my wife terminated the pregnancy she might have made it sound like it was her decision and not ours. Fast forward to now, Few weeks ago my wife found out that I had girlfriends before I meet her, I had not told this my self initially because I was worried how she may take this, I agree this is my fault, I had major doubts she may not take this well, which made it worst when she found out and didn't come out of me, one of the major reason why I had not told her before is because she believe in “one partner life time” and she was serious about it, considering some of the things mentally she was going through I was super scared to tell her this and put off telling about it ever since. Now that she has got to know she didn't take it well that I had not told about this before although I had hinted her before that I had girlfriends before. Between all the I know we were not emotionally well connected, I always wanted to improve out relationship I was putting all the efforts possible and I still was not upto the mark in connecting emotionally and lack of communication, but I never gave up, I was always putting effort in improving it as much as possible from my end. Now she things i'm a bad person, she says I manipulate her, and she says I don't stand up for her, there were many times I have stood up to her just not in front of her because I feel if she sees me fighting with other people she may not take it well, I feel like she will take it in a wrong way. She is a kind of person who responds rudely in her voice and delivery but she don't mean it bad, but this worries me, which I have been communicating to her all this time, I don't find her talking romantic but I can easily find her talking rude and harsh about me or other people. We had a very big fight today and she asked me to leave the country we are living and go back home because she is not able to tolerate me, I have always been sitting next to her trying to convince and calm her down. Im promising her I will be a better person and understand her sensitively, i'm willing to put all my efforts into this, she is not able to accept my mom's act and she keeps scolding me that I sound like my mom and I act like my mom and she is not able to accept that I didn't mention about the past girlfriends. At this point she is sleeping across me on the bed and i'm typing on reddit looking for advice and help for my self, how can I make her understand we have better future than our past, I don't want to give up on this marriage, help me with this reddit, let me know if I need to make anything clear in what I have told, I may have missed mentioning things which may not be on top of my mind right now. I think past is gone and we have to focus on future as long as we are involved and willing make it better, What do you think of this situation?