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LorenMiller1 Public Chat Channel
Date: October 7, 2022
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He set a boundary when he said “Leave me alone.”
You immediately stepped over that boundary when you followed him to ask if he was coming to dinner.
Yes, he handled it poorly, but the fact is he told you he needed space away from you and you ignored that and invaded his space anyway. If you had set a boundary and he immediately ignored it how would you feel?
Give the man some space and apologize for violating his boundaries, then you can talk about his reaction.
That really doesnt offer us enough context to see who was wrong in it. If it was a mutual break up with mistakes on both ends, if he isnt a pathological liar or a narcissist, you can try to dm that account. HOWEVER, if we don't know the context of how both of you were in the relationship, we cannot properly advice you.
I think the best thing to do is to keep trying. You've got a solid grasp of things you want to change, and that's half the battle 🙂 hold yourself accountable, like I said before, and apologize if you feel like you've hurt her.
Also remember that sometimes life doesn't always go according to plan (like the sudden issues at home), and that can interfere with predetermined plans. Inherently, incidents like that are not always avoidable and aren't your fault. I'm sure she's upset and frustrated (which she's allowed to be) that you didn't get a chance to call as originally intended, but part of me feels like she does understand (I believe you mentioned she's somewhat familiar with your home situation?).
Agreeing that your partner needs to be far away from you right now. And if you are in the US? You have about a 0.000001% chance of your baby being taken away. They won't do that unless you are deemed an unfit mother and to be deemed unfit at birth basically means testing positive for a very bad drug (ie cocaine or heroin). Do what is right for you and baby right now, that has to be your priority. Sounds like you have an amazing midwife at your back, you absolutely got this! Get some rest, relax when you can, and be sure to drink your Ovaltine.
I one had a guy tell me, during an argument, “maybe you should just leave” so I immediately got up and left, which he was upset about, since in reality he wanted me to make a fuss, cry and stay. This bullshit behavior reminds me of that. Your guy sounds like an immature brat. If he can't be bothered to open up about what's actually upsetting him because you should “just know” then he's not worth your time. If he's gonna fuck around then he's gonna find out.
I think your right about her using you as a backup. Its not fair for you to be used that way. This is jist my opinion based on my experience being divorced and somewhat gone through the same situation. I would work on myself and keep your guard up that maybe just maybe she checked out of this relationship. Maybe that way you won't be hurt so much if this doesnt work out. I noticed when i started taking care of myself and my x realized i didnt care anymore and started dating she wanted to fix things once again. Might be the case for you. You might also meet somebody that you click better with. Then she might end up losing a good guy and regretting it. Keep your guard up but work on your self in case it dont work out. No one deserves to be a side piece. Good luck.
I don’t like spit in general, it grosses me out, so o understand where you’re coming from, he’s acting awfully immature frankly