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Date: October 7, 2022
Wow, this happening a lot these days.
A good friend of mine just left her husband, cause he wanted to try to be poly. He met some chick on a trip and decided he wanted his wife and screw this new younger chick too.
Yeah, I have seen too many marriages implode over this. Is he cool if you decide to bring another man into the mix?
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As someone who has trauma with physical contact, it can be hard on our part. But it's not impossible to work through. Progress is a process. And you are not obligated to sit through her process. If she turned and looked at you, there's not much of a reason for her to elbow you.
I had to talk to my ex about implementing a “It's me,” before he leaned in or touched me when I don't expect it. I never had a violent reaction though, I was more jumpy and “I gotta get away” but I'd always calm down as soon as I registered that I was safe.
But like I said, you are NOT obligated to stick around if you're feeling unhappy in the relationship. Honestly, and it's hot to admit to yourself, but if she's acting that way, she's probably not ready to be in a relationship. That's something she has to admit to herself and work through.
I hope that the both of you find peace, her with her anxiety and trauma and you with another partner who either doesn't have anxiety and trauma or can handle themselves healthily.
Thank you, there’s a lot in the article that is relevant to my case…
Overstepping your boundaries—given your past experiences—is unacceptable.
I am not an alarmist, but this recurring defiance could be a symptom of deeper problems which will only mainfest itself in unfortunate instances in future.
Boundaries are there for a reason and should be respected. No ifs, no buts. It's not healthy for your partner to dismiss your feelings and trauma.
You are not overthinking. I suggest having an open and honest conversation with your partner: not to discuss what is already discussed before, but drawing a line on the sand with clear consequences if your boundaries are not respected. A good partner will listen and make an effort to understand your point of view. If he can't do that, it may be time to re-evaluate the relationship.
This is very nasty on the sisters behalf