The correct thing to do would be to call time on this 'relationship'. For 50% of it, he was actively lying and sneaking around and fucking someone else. That's not a mistake, that's a series of decisions your 'boyfriend' made over a long period of time. He knew what he was doing, he just didn't care.
He does not have your best interests at heart. Throw the entire boy away. All the while you're entertaining his lukewarm version of love, you're cheating yourself out of something real.
Mom could get divorced and go after OP for child support if the ex decides he doesn't want to support someone else's kid. OP could always have the fact of this child in the back of his mind, which could color his relationship with the partner, as well as with any children they subsequently have. Her first child will never be his first child. And so on.
I don't understand men like this. The ones who keep staring like women are a meal. You already know what she looks like, you can't have sex with her, she Is going to look the same each time you look at her. She isn't your gf or probably will never be so What's the point of looking so hot? It is rude, perverted and bad manners. And it's very hurtful to do that in front of your significant other. Checking out women for a quick second is normal, staring at them very hot and intensly is the behavior of an offender.
I know a girl like this. She wants you around as a back-up guy. I’m sorry to say but I think you’ll always be her second choice. Stay with the woman who wants you for you and cut this terrible “friend” out of your life for good
Take your husband out to a nice, quiet place away from your home. Sit him down, and ask him some serious questions about this. Many of us have had some weird experiences like this that seemingly come out of left field. That he distrusts you and is behaving differently towards you now, when you did nothing wrong, is troublesome and should be addressed ASAP to clear the air, and get back to “What happened there with our neighbor??!!”
People can be really weird. I'll bet that woman has designs on your husband. They may have an open relationship, but those are RARE, and usually lead to trouble.
Since she was so honest with you, be honest with her, have that honest, open conversation about boundaries. What will and won't happen between the four of you.
Been here before. It's awkward, and it may spell doom for your neighborly relationship. But it's better than someone cheating!
I think you have to let him have his space. Sounds like he’s going through a lot. Sometimes trauma can rear it’s ugly head when we didn’t know it was still there and it’s difficult to get through. He sounds like he’s got a lot to work through.
I see. A conversation isn’t gonna cut it. There is no purpose in having boundaries if there’s no real repercussion. You don’t even online together, it’s not like you need to keep the peace for that.
She comes into your space without warning, so a natural consequence is the key is taken away, or you change the locks and don’t acknowledge her knocks when she shows up unannounced.
She’s gonna be upset, you have to be okay with that and not give in or else how is anything going to change
I think it sucks that your relationship was essentially built on a lie/deceit. I can't tell you whether or not you should forgive her, but if there was an expectation of monogamy/exclusivity at that 3 week mark then her excuse of doing it because she had been “hurt previously” and also lying to you about it that she was going out with a friend instead pretty much says she knew exactly what she was doing and just didn't think she would get caught.
She might feel bad about it now but would she have ever told you if you didn't find out?
Exactly and women on here love justifying those kinds of behaviour and call you controlling when you call it out. Happens too often, happened to me, happened to almost every guy I know.
You are the challenge. You denied him sex so now he's on a mission to get you to cave. You need to cut ties before you fall victim. Best of luck to you.
She could be! We've both been guilty of having a nude time staying interested from start to finish (no pun intended), we both should probably be medicated but alas, shortages and lack of healthcare and such
I'm neurodivergent and have experienced issues my whole life despite very very heavy masking. My career path has been offices with older women and I've been bullied over and over again. My psychologist told me about some of the studies you're referencing, as well as just general info that many NTs detect the subtle differences and go in on it. At my current office, some of the women gossiped about me for bringing in baked goods, for example. It's ridiculous.
My husband and I have been married 20+ years and absolutely no cheating has happened . So yes my dear guy can be faithful!
The correct thing to do would be to call time on this 'relationship'. For 50% of it, he was actively lying and sneaking around and fucking someone else. That's not a mistake, that's a series of decisions your 'boyfriend' made over a long period of time. He knew what he was doing, he just didn't care.
He does not have your best interests at heart. Throw the entire boy away. All the while you're entertaining his lukewarm version of love, you're cheating yourself out of something real.
Mom could get divorced and go after OP for child support if the ex decides he doesn't want to support someone else's kid. OP could always have the fact of this child in the back of his mind, which could color his relationship with the partner, as well as with any children they subsequently have. Her first child will never be his first child. And so on.
I don't understand men like this. The ones who keep staring like women are a meal. You already know what she looks like, you can't have sex with her, she Is going to look the same each time you look at her. She isn't your gf or probably will never be so What's the point of looking so hot? It is rude, perverted and bad manners. And it's very hurtful to do that in front of your significant other. Checking out women for a quick second is normal, staring at them very hot and intensly is the behavior of an offender.
They simply told him to block her and report her.
Presumably they were telling him to report her for revenge porn.
Would your boyfriend keeping close help? If she doesn't want to talk to you why do you want to talk to her?
I know a girl like this. She wants you around as a back-up guy. I’m sorry to say but I think you’ll always be her second choice. Stay with the woman who wants you for you and cut this terrible “friend” out of your life for good
Take your husband out to a nice, quiet place away from your home. Sit him down, and ask him some serious questions about this. Many of us have had some weird experiences like this that seemingly come out of left field. That he distrusts you and is behaving differently towards you now, when you did nothing wrong, is troublesome and should be addressed ASAP to clear the air, and get back to “What happened there with our neighbor??!!”
People can be really weird. I'll bet that woman has designs on your husband. They may have an open relationship, but those are RARE, and usually lead to trouble.
Since she was so honest with you, be honest with her, have that honest, open conversation about boundaries. What will and won't happen between the four of you.
Been here before. It's awkward, and it may spell doom for your neighborly relationship. But it's better than someone cheating!
I think you have to let him have his space. Sounds like he’s going through a lot. Sometimes trauma can rear it’s ugly head when we didn’t know it was still there and it’s difficult to get through. He sounds like he’s got a lot to work through.
The bar is in the basement below hell
I see. A conversation isn’t gonna cut it. There is no purpose in having boundaries if there’s no real repercussion. You don’t even online together, it’s not like you need to keep the peace for that.
She comes into your space without warning, so a natural consequence is the key is taken away, or you change the locks and don’t acknowledge her knocks when she shows up unannounced.
She’s gonna be upset, you have to be okay with that and not give in or else how is anything going to change
I think it sucks that your relationship was essentially built on a lie/deceit. I can't tell you whether or not you should forgive her, but if there was an expectation of monogamy/exclusivity at that 3 week mark then her excuse of doing it because she had been “hurt previously” and also lying to you about it that she was going out with a friend instead pretty much says she knew exactly what she was doing and just didn't think she would get caught.
She might feel bad about it now but would she have ever told you if you didn't find out?
Hey… It's all good if you clock out before you pull your cock out… /s
Exactly and women on here love justifying those kinds of behaviour and call you controlling when you call it out. Happens too often, happened to me, happened to almost every guy I know.
You are the challenge. You denied him sex so now he's on a mission to get you to cave. You need to cut ties before you fall victim. Best of luck to you.
She could be! We've both been guilty of having a nude time staying interested from start to finish (no pun intended), we both should probably be medicated but alas, shortages and lack of healthcare and such
I'm neurodivergent and have experienced issues my whole life despite very very heavy masking. My career path has been offices with older women and I've been bullied over and over again. My psychologist told me about some of the studies you're referencing, as well as just general info that many NTs detect the subtle differences and go in on it. At my current office, some of the women gossiped about me for bringing in baked goods, for example. It's ridiculous.
So fake it hurts
She has a lot to work through.