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1. Hours of silence would be acceptable on the condition that discussion resumes after. My (36f) husband (50m) does this. He has a very hot time with conflict and needs a little bit to process/digest what I'm saying and basically calm himself down so he can talk to me about it.

   Days/weeks is NOT this. Days/weeks of silence is just being an immature, selfish, neglectful asshole. He is not trying. Never, EVER stay in a relationship where one person is putting more effort into truly maintaining the health of the relationship than the other.

   Something it took me a while to understand when I was a young adult was that relationship health and relationship enjoyment (maybe? Perhaps someone can provide a better term than this) are separate things. The things you do to maintain your enjoyment in life (going out with friends, indulging yourself, etc.) are not always going to be the same as what you do to maintain your health (eating healthy, getting exercise, etc.). They may even be in direct conflict with one another – I enjoy binge watching TV shows and eating doritos, but I can't do that without balancing it with things I need to do to maintain my health (sleep, fresh air, exercise, real food).

   The same is true in romantic relationships. If you are not able to maintain the health of the relationship TOGETHER, then it is going to become unhealthy very quickly, even if you still enjoy things together quite a bit. To return to my husband and I as an example: we honestly struggle sometimes to find things we both enjoy together. He's an extroverted military vet that loves being outdoors. I'm a shy nerdy liberal gamer. There isn't a ton of overlap in our interests… however, our relationship works (very, very well actually) because we both work together to keep our relationship healthy. I spent far too much time in my 20s looking for partners that had the same interests as me who I has fun with without paying enough attention to analyzing if we both put forth the same effort into maintaining the relationship.

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2. Sometimes you just have to be bold and honest. Think about how you would feel if you were to receive a message that says what you want to say and if you would be ok with it, just hit send. You’ll immediately regret it until he responds, but it at least forces you to lay it all out and gives you the potential to build.

   This advice is from someone who is pretty confident in general until I actually care about how the other person feels about me. I’m useless at talking to girls I like because I’m an immediate ball of nerves. I honestly had to down a beer just to passively let this girl know that I was into her lmaoo. I didn’t think it would go anywhere but knew it wouldn’t have the potential to unless I gave her the option because I’m similar to the way you described. We moved a lot growing up and I think it really fucked with my tendencies to deeply bond.

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3. She can see his location, so the phone isn’t dead.

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4. I would think long and naked about having children with this guy because I doubt he'll be any help at all.

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5. Hell, it’s not going to be a popular advice but here it goes, enjoy the ride. After 24 years of marriage this is probably exactly what you need.

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6. The sooner the better. There are no magic words. You just tell him. I have feelings for you and it’s not something I can keep hiding. Good luck

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