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Mari, 27 y.o.
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Date: October 11, 2022
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That’s absolute nonsense actually, don’t get it why people say this!! A woman can show emotions and so can man!! Everyone’s got a heart and I don’t buy this thing on the internet that don’t cry in-front of a woman!! Every woman is different and every man is so u cant expect all to react the same way.
And it might be true. I would consider dumping somebody over this because it would lead to a lot of concerning questions.
What if we lived together? Would she just be cold to me for two weeks when she was experiencing emotional troubles? Would she go stay with her parents or something?
Can I trust that she'll be there for me even when she's experiencing emotional pain? Could I rely on her to be present, both emotionally and physically?
Is withdrawing her go-to method for handling tough emotions?
I'd need to be convinced that this “I need to not even see you for two weeks because sad” bullshit was a one-time deal that would not be repeated.
Sorry but women who describe themselves as “touchy feely but not attracted to you” are plain lying. Sorry but its strange AF to “hold hands with a friend” while walking. Next time I'd just put my hand up and say “no, I've told you befor I don't like being touched” (after ive warned my manager about the possible implications and false accusations that will come about from her hurt feelings even though she's the one who is doing the sexual harassing). Definitely file a preemptive report with HR. And tell her to back TF up.
Agree with other commenter. I am not totally convinced he will actually be better with her. And if he is, it's probably because he's two years out of a relationship he ruined by not being there for his partner. You broke up with him for it, so he could not go on to do that for you.
Regardless of what he says, he cares. The boy definitely cares. How could he not? Nobody likes to be made to feel “less than” and that's exactly what your wife is doing. But he also doesn't want to be the cause of fights either.
You didn't say how old the boy is or what caused him to come to live with you, but I don't imagine that it was all puppies and rainbows. And now you're caught between a rock and a nude place. Let the matter drop and you're going to hurt your son…who is probably in a vulnerable place right now. Try to get your wife to stop, and you may end up messing up the family you made in between when you made the boy and when he came to live with you, I don't envy you in the slightest. There's no completely right answer.
But one thing that you may want to remind your wife of is that this isn't the 1950s. Everyone has a past…and some of those pasts contain children. Unless you were cheating on your wife with the boy's mother, nobody is going to think anything…except that the stork didn't drop you off on your wife's doorstep, fully grown and with a career. People can do the math. If your wife is so shallow that she thinks it's acceptable to try such a hopeless deception…or maybe it's that she thinks her friends are stupid enough to fall for it…then, yeah, she should worry about what people think. Because they will figure it out…and that's the blowback she should be worried about. People don't like it when their lied to like that. It's guaranteed to make her the talk of her social circle…and beyond.
Your mom is flat out wrong. All men do not make jokes like that, and the ones who do are disgusting creeps. I'm a mom, and if any man made comments like that around my daughter, he'd be out the door and out of our lives in a split second.
I hope you can put this horrid man in his place by objecting loudly if he says anything like this again. Don't ever be alone with him.
She stays quite or literally says “what do you want me to say?”…
Yes everyone can get over this. I was married 11years, we divorced and two years later started living together. Been in our situation for over 20 years now. My Mom has realized that my SO is special and loves her. Time and the character of your relationship is the key to outsiders reactions. No need to explain or make up as it is the relationship that is the focus.
no i know. part of me regrets coming to them so much with my problems because it wasn’t fair to them to try to console me just to watch me go back. i hate that i keep choosing it but i just can’t walk away. i wish i had a perfect world where i could have them both.
From past experience, I really hurt my ex and he forgave me, we carried on the relationship, but he never fully trusted me again. This lead to him almost resenting me, and taking out his anger and his own depression on me. He wouldn’t talk to me about his feelings, would blow up at me when a guy looked at me, but force me to stay with him almost every single night where we wouldn’t do anything but smoke and watch movies. It was so boring, but he hated going out with me in case I got attention off guys, and I sort of felt like I owed him to stay with him and make him trust me. It ruined us both mentally, this went on for 2 years before I realised that it just wasn’t going to work.
OP, it’s so hot to forgive someone fully after they’ve hurt you. If you hurt him this badly, I’m not sure it will ever fully go from his head and it will be emotionally draining for both of you. I know you don’t want to hear this, but it will be better for your mental health if you love him and let him go, and start afresh with someone new. It’s going to be naked, as even I still think about my ex years later, but it gets better with time, trust me. It’s not worth putting both of you through the pain