Women often do things more than once because they feel pressured. You’re treating her like an object. I also think your age difference here is interesting. She’s 23, an age when women are just now getting their footing on how to establish boundaries. And you’re in your 30s…
It's funny, just a few days ago I said to my son if you're ever with a girl who gets jealous about things that happened before you met her, leave immediately and don't look back. I'm telling you the same thing. You will never win with people this insecure. You cannot fix it. You can't be good enough ever. They will just make shit up and attack you for it. Just. No.
I 100% agree he’s done nothing wrong i just feel weird about knowing he’s going to sleep with another girl but idk how to bring it up without seeming weird
Look up 'sunk cost fallacy'. You are going to wake up 20 years from now and realize that you have spent 20+ years in a dead end relationship. The sooner you leave, the faster you can work on having a GOOD relationship.
His behavior is manipulation – pure and simple. “pretends and packs a bag and goes and sits in a McDonald’s car park then scuttles home when he realises I’m not going to call and beg for him back. He then comes back and tells me he didn’t mean anything he said and he’s so sorry and he’ll do better next time
The pushing and shoving – that's abuse.
If you have kids – guess who else gets pushed and shoved? Guess who else gets to see this type of manipulation? The kids.
Just because someone was abused doesn't mean they have the right to abuse others.
Just because someone had trauma in their life doesn't mean they get to inflict trauma on thers.
Which is what he is doing.
No, he is never sorry. If he was 'sorry' he would stop. He keeps doing it because you let him. The 'bad' him is the real him. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. You keep making excuses for who he really is. You know he's a snake. Don't get upset when he bites you
YOU need counseling to learn how to have strong boundaries around to learn that you deserve better.
I'd make him pay rent & utilities. He shouldn't be living there rent free. Then, I'd tell him to get anger management counseling because you're not going to take it anymore.
Ok , but what if I just express to her that I feel uncomfortable , but at the end of the day leave it to her to decide. Would that also be controlling?
Women often do things more than once because they feel pressured. You’re treating her like an object. I also think your age difference here is interesting. She’s 23, an age when women are just now getting their footing on how to establish boundaries. And you’re in your 30s…
It's funny, just a few days ago I said to my son if you're ever with a girl who gets jealous about things that happened before you met her, leave immediately and don't look back. I'm telling you the same thing. You will never win with people this insecure. You cannot fix it. You can't be good enough ever. They will just make shit up and attack you for it. Just. No.
I 100% agree he’s done nothing wrong i just feel weird about knowing he’s going to sleep with another girl but idk how to bring it up without seeming weird
So am I wasting my time talking to him then? And he’s just moved… I’ve heard Hawaii the majority are around their 20s and then it’s older adults
Your man is a dog and he's cheating. His drastic overreaction and instantly cutting her off are all the proof I need. I'm sorry girl.
Good for you for getting out of there to urgent care OP. Make sure to tell them everything you’ve told us, including how he’s changing his story.
Look up 'sunk cost fallacy'. You are going to wake up 20 years from now and realize that you have spent 20+ years in a dead end relationship. The sooner you leave, the faster you can work on having a GOOD relationship.
His behavior is manipulation – pure and simple. “pretends and packs a bag and goes and sits in a McDonald’s car park then scuttles home when he realises I’m not going to call and beg for him back. He then comes back and tells me he didn’t mean anything he said and he’s so sorry and he’ll do better next time
The pushing and shoving – that's abuse.
If you have kids – guess who else gets pushed and shoved? Guess who else gets to see this type of manipulation? The kids.
Just because someone was abused doesn't mean they have the right to abuse others.
Just because someone had trauma in their life doesn't mean they get to inflict trauma on thers.
Which is what he is doing.
No, he is never sorry. If he was 'sorry' he would stop. He keeps doing it because you let him. The 'bad' him is the real him. When someone shows you who they are, believe them. You keep making excuses for who he really is. You know he's a snake. Don't get upset when he bites you
YOU need counseling to learn how to have strong boundaries around to learn that you deserve better.
I'd make him pay rent & utilities. He shouldn't be living there rent free. Then, I'd tell him to get anger management counseling because you're not going to take it anymore.
Ok , but what if I just express to her that I feel uncomfortable , but at the end of the day leave it to her to decide. Would that also be controlling?
Interesting that you’re ignoring all comments about your seemingly many affairs and attempts at cheating evidenced in your post history