I was that husband who was told I did not know how to communicate. Until we reached marriage counselor. In front of him, my then wife admitted that I have been telling her things in clear English that she chose to ignore, and when the counselor asked him why didn't you address the things he has been saying for several years – her reply was “I don't know” followed by a smirky laugh.
Lesson I learned was: I was communicating very directly whereas she was not used to such communication. She was used to people talking to her with a lot of cushion words like um, ah, maybe, probably etc and a lot of sentences that needed to be “read between the lines”.
The counselor told her that men will sometimes say few words, but will repeat the exact same words again, whereas women sometimes find it very “turn offish” and want the message to be delivered like a poem so she can read between the lines.
Obviously the counseling did not work. Our communication styles were incompatible.
I was still labeled “my husband does not know how to communicate” on all social media and I was the bad guy.
Maybe you guys could can read into my story and probably take some hints here and there likely?
Good for your MIL. I have tolerance for a lot in relationships but cheating is not one. Any partner of mine who cheats no matter how long or short is immediately out!
That simply means that he thinks it's okay for you to suck but he won't do the same to you, that is not fair. I would suggest to ask him to eat you first before you suck his. If he refuses then so should you and see how long can he go without sex. This is on the assumption that you can go longer without sex than him 😉
Who said he wouldn’t get pleasure? He has a problem being able to last longer than a couple of pumps. You can still get pleasure and he can learn endurance by using a strapon harness with a dildo on his wife. He has a sensitive penis and when you are thar sensitive you need to create more barriers if you want to have a sex life where your can have a longer sex sessions than 30 seconds. Right now as it stands no one is satisfied and he feels shame in not being able to last more than a few seconds. There is too much focus on his penises ability to perform. That us why I think his penis needs to be taken out of the equation. You can still get pleasure from engaging with in the positions and movement of penis and vagina sex and making your partner that is receiving orgasm. So many people that do not have penises experience pleasure being the giver this way.
But absolutely nobody cheats in a vacuum or for no reason.
I highly question that. Plenty of people cheat because they are selfish, poor at controlling their impulses, or self indulgent.
Also, you are telling OP to be sexy when the whole problem is, between her meds and hormones, she doesn't feel sexy. So are you saying that she should fake it more?
It amazes me on how in the age we are ( in civiliced countries where real freedom exist ), there's people can even think about marriage before living with another person.
As for you, OP. You do you, but if you find after marring someone, or being engaged, that you two are incompatible when living together, you are going to have a much harder time. 15 years ago , my then gf after 4 years didnt wat to live together, she wanted to marry first. After 1 year of push and pull, I was ready to leave the relationship, I was not going to force her to online with me and definetly I was not marrying anyone who I didnt lived with first… in the end she ended up coming to my house ( I was living alone at that monet while she was at her parent's ).
Anyhow she was cheating on me from day 1, stealing me and her parents money, living several lives at a time, but that's another story. She wanted to marry before living together so she can have legal access to my money and properties, because while living together I caught her on many lies that ended with me discovering all the cheating.
This is one of the most cruel things I’ve ever heard. Break up. There is no room in your life for someone who could be so callous and manipulative. Someone who loves you could never conceive of purposely hurting you. In fact, they’d rather do the opposite. Break up and move on. I am so sorry you went through this. ?
I get it. A lot of people are attracted to both sexes and maybe more than I realize. My question is, if you are married in a heterosexual relationship, what is the point of wearing your bisexualness as a badge of honor? I don't see what that accomplishes other than making your spouse insecure.
It’s disrespectful. Let him know that you know and you’re not okay with it. He needs to decide how much he values you.
I was that husband who was told I did not know how to communicate. Until we reached marriage counselor. In front of him, my then wife admitted that I have been telling her things in clear English that she chose to ignore, and when the counselor asked him why didn't you address the things he has been saying for several years – her reply was “I don't know” followed by a smirky laugh.
Lesson I learned was: I was communicating very directly whereas she was not used to such communication. She was used to people talking to her with a lot of cushion words like um, ah, maybe, probably etc and a lot of sentences that needed to be “read between the lines”.
The counselor told her that men will sometimes say few words, but will repeat the exact same words again, whereas women sometimes find it very “turn offish” and want the message to be delivered like a poem so she can read between the lines.
Obviously the counseling did not work. Our communication styles were incompatible.
I was still labeled “my husband does not know how to communicate” on all social media and I was the bad guy.
Maybe you guys could can read into my story and probably take some hints here and there likely?
Good for your MIL. I have tolerance for a lot in relationships but cheating is not one. Any partner of mine who cheats no matter how long or short is immediately out!
That simply means that he thinks it's okay for you to suck but he won't do the same to you, that is not fair. I would suggest to ask him to eat you first before you suck his. If he refuses then so should you and see how long can he go without sex. This is on the assumption that you can go longer without sex than him 😉
Who said he wouldn’t get pleasure? He has a problem being able to last longer than a couple of pumps. You can still get pleasure and he can learn endurance by using a strapon harness with a dildo on his wife. He has a sensitive penis and when you are thar sensitive you need to create more barriers if you want to have a sex life where your can have a longer sex sessions than 30 seconds. Right now as it stands no one is satisfied and he feels shame in not being able to last more than a few seconds. There is too much focus on his penises ability to perform. That us why I think his penis needs to be taken out of the equation. You can still get pleasure from engaging with in the positions and movement of penis and vagina sex and making your partner that is receiving orgasm. So many people that do not have penises experience pleasure being the giver this way.
But absolutely nobody cheats in a vacuum or for no reason.
I highly question that. Plenty of people cheat because they are selfish, poor at controlling their impulses, or self indulgent.
Also, you are telling OP to be sexy when the whole problem is, between her meds and hormones, she doesn't feel sexy. So are you saying that she should fake it more?
Forget confronting him. Just walk out.
Why give him a chance to explain? You already know what kind of guy he is.
Wtf yes this is abuse
It amazes me on how in the age we are ( in civiliced countries where real freedom exist ), there's people can even think about marriage before living with another person.
As for you, OP. You do you, but if you find after marring someone, or being engaged, that you two are incompatible when living together, you are going to have a much harder time. 15 years ago , my then gf after 4 years didnt wat to live together, she wanted to marry first. After 1 year of push and pull, I was ready to leave the relationship, I was not going to force her to online with me and definetly I was not marrying anyone who I didnt lived with first… in the end she ended up coming to my house ( I was living alone at that monet while she was at her parent's ).
Anyhow she was cheating on me from day 1, stealing me and her parents money, living several lives at a time, but that's another story. She wanted to marry before living together so she can have legal access to my money and properties, because while living together I caught her on many lies that ended with me discovering all the cheating.
The squatting over the dick move, fucking ridiculous. That is 100% for the camera view and 0% about pleasure.
This is one of the most cruel things I’ve ever heard. Break up. There is no room in your life for someone who could be so callous and manipulative. Someone who loves you could never conceive of purposely hurting you. In fact, they’d rather do the opposite. Break up and move on. I am so sorry you went through this. ?
fuck everyone else
DO NOT LET THIS PERSON BACK AROUND U. EVER. EVER EVER
It’s funny how I had a similar comment like this in a post with a crazy age difference and people are coming for my ass in the comments to this day.
I get it. A lot of people are attracted to both sexes and maybe more than I realize. My question is, if you are married in a heterosexual relationship, what is the point of wearing your bisexualness as a badge of honor? I don't see what that accomplishes other than making your spouse insecure.
Then he should hold his tongue EVEN MORE SO
Sheesh