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Aroura, y.o.
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Date: October 13, 2022
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Thanks for being the voice of reason.
No, it sounds like she did this in order to manipulate her kids, knowing you would contact them. If she is seriously threatening suicide then the problem isn't her kids. Whether they were totally justified or being abusive, neither are something to bring around a suicidal person. If you tell in either instance, they will feel even more justified for being hit with a “look at what you did” at the holidays, because that's honestly BS. If you are actually worried, she belongs on watch in a hospital, but I think you know that.
This is not your friend. Maybe was at some point but not now. Now she is the person who thinks they deserve your significant other more than you. Some say that you do things you wouldn't normally do when drunk. I agree with this with the addition its because your inhibitions are lowered and you do things you are already thinking about doing, but the filters are gone. She intentionally played into your insecurities. She showed off her body which is proud of and knows that you aren't comfortable with yours. This was a thought out play from the dancing. She waited for a moment to take her shot.
What is there to salvage? Keeping her around to do it again? Move on.
Not only is this a betrayal of your trust but it's also a betrayal of the ex's privacy.
Nudes from past relationships should absolutely be deleted and stay deleted. His behavior is unusual and creepy.
Plus this doesn't seem like a one time accident – seems like there is a pattern developing. You have to ask yourself is this something I can deal with in a partner? Imaging being married…
It's so much a gift for him, he should use it on himself. It's non-refundable and he's concerned about it going to waste. Win win.
When people run out of things to do, they create drama. Everyone's so busy creating their own drama, people have started paying others to let them be the center of their own drama.
The last 15 years have left everyone being offended and the last 5 years have left everyone having no personal responsibilities. Many don't know what it means to be an adult and have struggles anymore. Instead it's “I'll have you know, my $100k art degree, $30k Toyota, and $2k mortgage in the city aren't going to pay for themselves! I'm stressed!” as some of us continue living in low cost of living spaces driving a $3k car. You just have to ignore them and hope, at some point, they grow up.
Judging without all the facts? As if there are some facts out there that excuse cheating and lying for a decade? There’s no excuse for cheating.
OP is free to discuss this with whoever he wants. He was blindsided with earth shattering news. If his wife wanted to have a discussion about it that stayed between them, she should have told him. But she lied and here we are.
And stop making it seem like OP put an ad in the newspaper seeking advice. He’s asking advice from people he trusts most in this world because it has become obvious he can’t trust his wife.
No, I don't see the validity. What you should do is tell BF you don't feel quite worthy of him, and does he agree?
Having “only” a bachelor's degree, prior marriage and a child don't make you defective.
Talking it over with him might reassure you that there are things he sees in you that he wants in his life.
That is very true. I've been trying to accept not being with him. And I know if we do break up, I'll be okay. I know I'll be sad, I know there will be times when I think of the good moments, or wonder how he's doing. But I also know that this relationship isn't going anywhere. I've tried talking about the future, about moving in together. He never seems so know what he wants in the future. All he is sure about is going to university.