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❤ Ellie & Tom ❤ PVT is open ❤ Have a good day and have fun with us! ❤, 20 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms ❤ Ellie & Tom ❤ PVT is open ❤ Have a good day and have fun with us! ❤
Date: October 14, 2022
My husband does this. I eventually realized it was because he was getting off to what was hurting me. Almost a decade later… one separation… me moving away for work once… I’m finally ready to divorce him.
You seem to spend many hours a day on here firing off these condescending “gotchas.” Most every comment you leave is in bad faith. Happy people don’t do this.
That's my reaction when my wife does it ? I honestly can't comprehend how he can be so bothered
You need help!
My main tip and trick would be to not date people who don't respect your time, but if you want to keep dating this guy:
Agree on a time and if he's not there within 15 minutes, leave and do something else. If he texts you at 12 saying he'll be there at 2, text back and say, “I made time for us to meet now and I don't have two hours to wait, let me know when you'd like to meet again. My time is valuable to me.”
If he doesn't respond, oh well. Treat your time with respect and he will either follow suit or he won't and you can go find someone who does.
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“So I’m just some scumbag” seems like it to me
If you arent lying then she got it from someone else.
It genuinely sounds like your girlfriend wanted to sleep with other people but didn't want to feel bad.
I personally would cut my losses and take this as a learning experience but it you truly believe an open relationship from the age of 23 can turn into an open marriage and a subsequent great life together, then by all means stick it out.
I think you do need to have an open conversation with her OP. One thing I think I would consider asking, of you're looking for some bulletpoints to cover during the conversation are:
How long has this been happening Why has she never mentioned it to you? If you found it too uncomfortable would she change. Would you change? Is this realistically going to be a deal breaker or will you be able to come to some form of compromise?
And then I would potentially consider asking her if you could come along for a swim, it would be helpful for you to understand what the actual dynamic is. Maybe seeing everyone in action would alleviate some of your concerns. Because the unknown and your own imagination can really ruin things sometimes. I'm not one for this kind of thing personally but I do know certain people and cultures (think, the same kind of people who would go very hot to a sauna where others would never) might not think it's as big a deal as you may imagine.
Best of luck OP.
“By giving me this ultimatum, mother, it feels like you're forcing me out of your life. You're punishing me for what someone else did. That's not right or fair to me.”
Though, I get it that she probably won't ever “come around” to logical thinking around this.
I'm sorry OP. I was less than a year old when my parents separated due to my father cheating. Well. During to him getting caught red-handed cheating. And thankfully my mother didn't ever use us kids as pawns.
Not sure what he expected based on your rapport. I would say take the L, but its not even an L
Have a serious discussion with your wife, alone, about it.
Ask her why she wants to go to the club every other weekend, and not “cuz I like to shake my ass teeheehee!”
I’m slightly skeptical of the “girls only” club trips being more fun than when SOs are invited, but by itself, that’s not too suspicious (friends-only social gatherings are fine).
But, the hotel room for an in-town clubbing trip where SOs aren’t invited are a bit eyebrow raising.
Yeahyeahyeah, you should trust your SO… but when your SO starts behaving uncharacteristically, in a manner that makes you uncomfortable and a bit suspicious, it’s justified to question that trust. Trust is based on trustworthy behavior, so it’s justifiable for that trust to be questioned in the face of odd behavior.
Cheating is worse than snooping. I know today everybody except our privacy so important and it’s a long with respect all that stuff is not a given it’s earned and when you cheat, I think lose it. It’s just my opinion.
Yes, you are emotionally being neglected at best, but you are also suffering from mental disorders.
You need to seek out mental health support because what you are describing sounds a lot like hoarding to me.
Your boyfriend isn’t behaving like an adult either, but some of his complaints sound a lot like someone who lives with a hoarder.
You should not own more than 3 pets usually. Yes some people can manage more, but that depends on the size of the family and their financial situation.
Right now you are hoarding animals because there is something missing in you and you think that the unconditional love of an animal can help with the pain. But one doesn’t give you enough of a high so you get more and more.
The “mess” in your house is probably you over accumulating and there being too much stuff in a space to be able to clean.
OCD and depression can express themselves as hoarding. You need to seek mental health resources to treat this or it will get worse.
I know that I’m armchair diagnosing a bit here, but I want to give you the gentle wake up. Mental health is SUPER important and it isn’t about having a clean house. It is about managing your mental health so that you can online comfortably.
I don’t know if your husband is just an ass because of the stress or if this is because he is just an ass. You can’t know that until you figure out your own mental health.
Thank you! It helps to see input from a mom 🙂
Thank you for your advice and your time. I will try to do my best to overcome those fears.
Maybe it’s more of a culture thing than an etiquette thing. Especially the last bit about trying to feed everyone at the table
Yeah, it's a me problem; I understand and recognize it, and that's why I was sharing it with her: to find common ground. I did not expect this kind of reaction, though.
Yes. She is allowed to do whatever she wants but I’m imagining a conversation like this: “Hi mom, dad is a liar” M: “how do you know” “He is visiting secret daughter behind your back, she reached out to him. I followed him around because I thought it was an affair partner” M: you what? “I felt like I had a duty to do it and a duty to tell you” M: I never wanted you to know about any of that. OR M: there’s a secret daughter? “Yes”
M: I um. I am shocked. How are you sure? “Dad told me the girl was his daughter and you knew/made a deal with him a long time ago to have nothing to do with her ever (allow a blood child to not know her blood father)” M: what more do you know?
In case you can’t tell where I’m going with this, OP opened a can of worms she shouldn’t have, that will turn into a rabbit hole that doesn’t need to be dug.
If I was OP and absolutely demanded my mom learn the details, I would tell dad to fess up all of the details, give a deadline or I’d do it myself. And ask that as proof he met the obligation, he tells mom to follow up with OP to debrief.
Even that’s a little weird and not territory parents want to be swimming in with their children.
18 yo with 37 yo? Do you not think now that this is absolutely not normal and that it was abusive from the start? You have not compromised in the past so much as been forced to accept things you didn't want. You have problems now because you're starting to outgrow the grooming he did on you and he doesn't like it one bit. Leave him.
I DONT know why but I can’t see these comments ?.
when I asked her if she would block him afterwards she refused
This part is rather troubling. In fact sounds to me like your relationship is already over.
Sorry man. That really sucks. But rest assured there are better women out there. Better to know now than later.
I had a similar experience when I was younger.
She got jealous frm some photos she saw and stormed off. I found her, she said she is going home so I made her get in the car and I was gonna take her home.
At a stop light she tried to hop out of the car. I pulled her back in by her backpack while yelling. Some lady called the cops as it looked like I was kidnapping her.
Got pulled over after dropping her off. Ended up in handcuffs while they searched for her bc she climbed out her window after I dropped her off.
Eventually they found her. I lost my license bc I forgot to renew it. Luckily the cop knew I stuck my dick in crazy and told me to go and said make better decisions with a wink.
Broke up with her the very next day. She blew up my phone saying sorry and all that shit
I don't think it's even morally sound to continue this relationship.
You are trying to rationalize things that cannot be rationalized. You should be dating somebody that you are actually attracted to, and he should be able to date somebody who is actually attracted to him. The current situation is just a disaster waiting to happen. It is not a good foundation on which to build a long term commitment.
Make up your mind either get divorse and get with her, o cut her off and stay with your wife, but don't string them along.
When people have an AP everything is so much better with them and it is because you don't have the added stresses of living together, all you have is good times.
Somehow it feels like you are already emotional cheating on your wife you are HIDING this meetings from her.
No, he is not a good boyfriend. This is 100% the start of abuse. He literally told you that he feels entitled to insult and belittle you while you are expected to never say anything hurtful. This is only going to escalate. You need to leave this relationship, this person is toxic and will hurt you.
People here are like “blah trust her/him”, yet you go visit some other subreddits and you’ll see exactly why boundaries are important. Infidelity and emotional affairs are big ones, and going depending on her friends they might go out together and invite friends of friends. Setting boundaries is healthy, setting appropriate times to go and be home, or only going out as a couple if it’s with groups and at night etc.
find something that works for both of you, and if it doesn’t work for you both then reassess the relationship. It’s better to find someone compatible than stay in a relationship that isn’t going to work.
That hi and how are you it could be turn to sexual conversations oneday behind your back … would you spend the rest of your relationship with someone have could have feelings for other women ?
But it should be up to the person to baby their partner. The partner should be a grown up and talk about them being unsatisfied rather than the other partner trying to get them to talk about it. Again, it's on to the cheater to talk before they cheat, not the person who will get cheated on to make sure they don't cheat.
Sounds like your current BF needs to up his game with respect to jewelry and give you a actual reason not to wear the old stuff.
Why did she stop engaging with you? It didn’t happen over night. What does being in a traditional relationship bring context to? Of course she wouldn’t “even” sleep with you, if y’all weren’t speaking.
Why not get divorced instead of cheating on her? I’m not saying she didn’t contribute to an unstable marriage, but blaming it on being lonely and “only human” is pathetic.
Oh lord, I miss being young and awkward as hell.
The only way to know for sure is to ask her out on a legit date. Make sure to specifically say it's a date. Not a hang out, not a chill session, not a….. Whatever y'all say nowadays. Make the intention known. The only way to know is to ask and not dance around the subject.
You'll be good.
If he is gay or bi, he seems to be Narnia-level deep in the closet. I'd think it'll take him at least 10 years and a failed marriage to dig himself out. Act normal, be a good supportive friend, let him online his life and make his mistakes – at the moment there is nothing you can do but online your own life, and try to find other romantic partners, who are not caught in a web of guilt, family obligations, religious indoctrination and cultural conditioning.
If you're taking psychiatric drugs, that might be doing it.
We don't know what OP does for a living. We do know she has accrued the necessary PTO, that it is her benefit, and that her boss, who knows the ebb and flow of the workplace better than any of us, approved the time.
Yes, people get shafted by others going on vacation sometimes. That doesn't mean everyone just drops projects with no notice and dumps them on coworkers. This commenter has a negative/hostile relationship with his coworkers and is projecting it onto OP's situation.
Do you think getting a divorce will solve the problem? You will have to take care of 2 children's without any help. Hopefully, you will get child support. My point is just to get you to think about your decision. Marriage counseling might help. I'm a little puzzled with your husband going to the hospital without communicating with you when he left and when he came back home. It appears that he's not trying to help. And you're tired carrying the load of doing everything. Things can change, but it will take the two adults working together. I hope things will work out for you.