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Sophia, 27 y.o.
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Date: October 14, 2022
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If she cuts him off for you and not herself, she will eventually get in contact with him again and/or resent you for it later. If she was ready to move on from him she would have done it before she met you. I had the same situation happen. They never stopped contacting their ex. Totally went behind my back. Never doing that shit again.
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Hijacking this comment to ask OP, how were you 26 6 days ago and you’re 22 now?
My husband, whenever he walks in on “the real housewives ” says “omg. What's wrong with their faces??”
Solid advice
Honestly… it’s not unheard of. You’re both adults yourselves, it’s not like you’re all going to be living together playing some weird family game. Parents are enjoying each others time obviously, is it REALLY effecting anyone that much? Cutting them out of your lives seems extreme.
As people get older they usually get set in their ways to where it might make it harder for them to conform to the new demands of being in a relationship. It's unclear why you feel you have to police his activities (given that his faithfulness isn't in question). If you think he has a drinking problem then address that directly instead of making it about where he goes and who he brings home. You're 30, so it's not like you're that “young” or “naive”. If you want to spend time with him in the morning then prearrange that so he knows to expect you. It's not his fault you decided to become a parent. However, if you have any intention of marrying this guy you may have a challenge ahead if going out every night is the pattern he's established in his life.
If thats not emotionall abuse idk what is
So you have completely changed your whole life over the majority of your marriage.
And while his actions are not healthy, and are borderline (if not actually) abusive, what did you expect his reaction to the person he married doing what sounds like a complete 180?
Now nothing you have done is wrong in fact it is absolutely amazing what you have done and accomplished for yourself.
But did you bother to talk with him about any of it? About the reasons behind you wanting to make your changes? About why you are improving yourself? (Not to get his approval, but to bring him into the conversation, to make your relationship and him apart of your new life goals, and your self improvement plans)
So much change, focused solely on yourself, in what is a short period of time. He should have been supportive, and maybe he was for a time, you don’t mention his reaction in the beginning of your change.
I can tell you that he is wondering if the person he loved and married is even still there.
As for if your relationship can get past this, that depends on what happens when you both actually sit down, talk about what and why this has happened, and what you both see, and both want for the relationship going forward.
Do not accept his continued behaviour and attitude, that needs to stop now if the relationship has any hope of continuing.
Thank you for this
You are probably arguing with 12 year olds with zero life experience. It's extremely reasonable to want to be included in your life partners career decisions, I'd ignore these clowns.