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special levels vibe on the screen weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Date: September 25, 2022
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Thank you so much for the understanding. I think I underestimated the assault and as tome pass by I'm more hurt and confused. I mean, I didn't do anything to encourage such a behaviour or provoke these acrions.. and I still need to find a way to tell her without jeopardizing our friendship. Thank you so much
I understand that you want to be kind and not leave him homeless, but you don't have to pay for him if you divorce, and you absolutely need to divorce. Talk to a lawyer to come up with a plan. Then go back to your husband (soon to be ex) and explain that he has X months to find a job and move out, everything should be in writing and exactly as your lawyer says it should be. Explain that the date is not negotiable, at all, and by that date if he doesn't have a job to support himself and he becomes homeless it's not your problem and you don't care, and mean it, because he doesn't care if he bleeds you dry. Regarding the house, since the title is also on his name you'll have to agree on what to do, but again, talk to your lawyer first to see what your options are.
I mean if this isn’t fake, then get genetic testing done. It’s been a loooong time since I studied genetics/dominant and recessive genes in biology, but I was under the impression that two blue eyed people can’t make a baby with anything other than blue eyes?
Eww. No. Why are you even engaged to this guy? He sounds like a bully. How does he treat you? Hmmm?
After 2 episodes of this happening while dating, I would have been gone.
He will hurt someone with his ridiculous behaviour, and it might be you. Or your child.
children
Does she actually want to have children now? She may not.
weight
There is a psychological component of losing weight and it sounds like her mind is not in the right place. She may have issues with food addiction or what food means for her. It would be wise for her to contact the doctor and speak to a nutritionist and see if this is a good first step for her.
It would be wise for you to stop including her in plans for what you will both do to be healthy and for you to take care of yourself so she cannot use you, personally, as one of her excuses about why she is not losing weight.
finances
It sounds like you have some semblance of a budget and are somewhat following it, and it sounds like she has no semblance of a budget whatsoever and uses her money elsewhere. I would not be surprised if the reason she gives away so much money is so that she can feel loved, and that would be another psychology issue.
family dynamics
What a garbage fire everything is right now, I don't feel qualified to talk about the estate or really what happened.
I do know that your wife can't and shouldn't say who you can and can't have a relationship with. You having a relationship with your parents should be up to you. It's good that you stood up for your wife and backed her up, but it's really not cool at all that she is mandating that you can't have a relationship with them.
truck
To me, this family seems very unreliable – they don't strike me as Stand Up Guys. I would strongly consider going over there and towing the truck back to your own place and getting the truck repaired, and then selling the truck to help pay for whatever else is going on.
I just don't see them doing anything to help you or repay you with how often they lie and misbehave.
break in attempt
It is normal not to feel safe in your home after a private space like that is violated. So it's not unusual that she would want that. But I think the bigger reason why she is wanting all of this is because she has some magical idea that moving away someplace else will fix far more problems than how she is feeling about the house.
sacrificing
You say that these things are sacrifices, but really I see them as a marriage that is broken in multiple places. Things in a marriage get solved by talking and communicating to one another and I see so little of that, whether or not she has that mental health disorder or not.
It seems to me that most of these problems are her problems. Since these things are her problems, why isn't she the one getting help for them? No, really? They're her problems, why isn't she getting help for them? That's what normal people do.
It seems to me that what you want is a better marriage and a better life and what she wants is something different (hence moving), but I don't see her wanting any of those things for you or for both of you as a couple, but for her personally.
It almost sounds to me like this marriage has been dragging on for many, many years because you can't communicate with her because she might have a mental health breakdown. There is couples counseling for that, to help couples communicate.
Just like that old rundown truck, I feel like your marriage is out in somebody's field getting rained on and there is no repairman coming.
Both of you are going to have to do something, it sounds like things are ending and I wouldn't be surprised if it ends with her moving someplace else. I don't see any place where she feels any of her problems or problems. I don't see any place where she apologizes for them. I don't see any place where she is trying to do better.
I fear that you are the person trying to move forward and have a better life, and her plans are different, that her plans are for everything to stay the same.
I’d get the test but tell him you want a full panel of STI tests run on him at the same time since typically people who make these kinds of unfounded and sudden cheating accusations are the cheaters. And then I’d end the relationship. Because boy would I resent this, and I don’t think I’d ever get past the lack of trust and respect.
The easiest way to find out if she’s interested or not is just to ask her to do whatever activity you had talked about.
“Hey, I have some free time this Saturday if you’d like to (activity) with me, maybe grab a bite to eat after?”
3 scenarios after that:
She accepts and boom you guys can hangout (this doesn’t mean she likes you romantically)
She declines the day you suggested but offers another day she is free. (She is actually interested in hanging out with you and could be a good sign she’s interested)
She declines but offers no alternatives (she’s not interested at all)
The only way to truly find out if she likes you is to just keep spending time with her and it will become apparent. Some people aren’t on social media that often and I wouldn’t use that as any kind of gauge to whether or not she is attracted to you.
Plus you haven’t even known her that long, maybe try to focus on being a friend first and getting to know her.
Can you camp in their backyard if weather allows? Not sure where you are. I too couldn’t tolerate a home like that so I get it. DV shelter maybe
I don't know why you're being down voted. You're right. Exercise can help by increasing your muscle mass and therefore your total daily energy expenditure (TDEE), but losing weight is still about getting your calories consumed below that TDEE, and that almost always requires dietary changes, which have a much faster and more significant effect anyway.
Changing eating habits is not easy (source: have lost a lot of weight and still have a ways to go), and maybe some don't want to hear it, but it's almost always necessary.