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mongolian_slut, 99 y.o.
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Date: October 16, 2022
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I had the exact same thing happen to me. We were dating for a while and it was fun for a bit but then I moved away for college and the distance wasn’t helping. I also just wanted to be a college girl and date. He did the whole “if you leave me I’ll kill my self” thing and I went back a few times. But eventually I had to have a tough talk with him and tell him I couldn’t stay in the relationship anymore, that I didn’t mean to hurt him but it was over. He tried to guilt me again but I just stayed firm on it. Eventually he accepted the situation. We tried to be friends but that fizzled out as well. I hope this helps.
My ex husband did this to me the day before his second wedding. He did seem to have a good relationship and they had twins together. We still talked every few months after but he was happy. He died about 5 years after his 2nd marriage so I can’t say they are still happy but I think they might have been.
Her husband may know she’s the love of his life and also know he made a terrible, awful mistake. That doesn’t mean she can move forward in the relationship but her “girlfriend “ is definitely a horrible person.
Without the acts of service or emotional availability, is he worth losing your soulmate? Those things could easily disappear within a few years of a steady relationship, and then would it be worth it anymore?
I'm also not entirely sure how sound your boss's morals are. He is currently flirting with, and showing bias towards, one of his employees. This is definitely an HR violation situation. And said employee is in a serious relationship, which he knows. Is this the kind of person you really want to trade a soulmate for? What would stop him from flirting with other people, or employees, even if you were dating? He could just say it's business or employee appreciation.
Lock her up in a tower and don't allow anyone to see her. After a year marry her off to a minor noble in France to strengthen the alliance of your two nations. Mission accomplished.
She may have a psychological illness, such a Borderline Personality Disorder. She is highly manipulative and controlling. As a therapist myself, I would suggest the book, “Stop walking on egg shells”. She abuses people and their trust. Find the light and leave. Talk with a therapist about this; get support. These relationships are very difficult to leave b/c of the manipulation. Try new tools this time to finally leave.
The gender bias on this sub is extreme, and I’m sorry you are getting raked by toxic people but don’t let them confuse you. You know exactly what you believe:
I only reserve cuddling and intimate things like that for you
Guess what, there are millions of people that believe that exact same thing. It’s not hot, at all, to find someone who shares those views. On this sub, as a guy, you’re going to get the buzzwords insecure and controlling thrown at you all day by people who don’t realize that door swings both ways.
I would talk with your gf and express your views, and ask what her views surrounding intimacy are. From there, you will need to make a decision on whether or not you two are compatible. Do not bury this issue though, it will fester resentment.
You need to decide what your going to do. Or what he’s going to do.
Pro tip, and this is coming from personal experience. When you find yourself writing a huge wall of text to r/relationshipadvice… it’s a clear sign that the relationship is doomed.