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Room for online sex video chat charming_NaNa21
Model from:
Languages: en,zh
Birth Date: 1995-01-07
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityAsian
Hair color: hairColorBlack
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Date: October 16, 2022
He told me it was his favorite adult actress and that he only viewed it as content, as one would in an adult site. He has now deleted his SC and said he’d rather not continue to view that.
You were willing to give her up when she had already lost her dad and was not a baby anymore. She felt unwanted because you didn’t want her. She never asked to be born to a teen mother. It sounds like you actually cared for and wanted your step kids but were willing to give up your own child and the only reason you didn’t do that because you met a man who bonded with her. You were a bad parent to her and you must let her set the terms for your relationship as adults. You weren’t 16 anymore when you remarried, still completely willing to give her up for adoption. It sounds like you never bonded with her. I’ll be frank and say it sounds like you don’t love her and never did. Not if you were willing to give up a 6 or 7yo who had lost her father. In her place I would cut contact with you permanently.
The fact that you require your stepchildren to confirm that you did not treat your own child as well as you treated them is just more proof that you still trust, believe, and care about them more than your daughter. You couldn’t even accept that the young woman who felt unwanted by you felt that way for a reason even after you just said twice that you were willing to give her up as a baby and as a child. You didn’t love her the way you love the children you have now and she knew/knows that. She likely idolized her dad because he’s gone but it’s also possible that her memory of him is when she felt loved by a parent. He wasn’t perfect but he was her dad. Of course she did not want to hear from you how much you resented him.
You’ve done incalculable damage to her bc you were not ready to parent when you had her. Later on when you were ready to be a parent, she had to watch you care for other children in a way she had never been cared for and that had to hurt so much. I’m glad it’s starting to become clear to you how much you failed her but you need to face facts. You were completely willing to give her away when she was no longer a baby. You withheld the unconditional love and care children require. She’s grown now and gets to decide how to relate to you. Respect her wishes. Your presence is harmful to her and she’s caring for herself to limit your presence in her life. If you care about her at all, you will respect her boundaries.
Why do you care?
First of all, yes, he is abusive.
The name-calling alone is abusive.
His driving to the wrong post office and blaming you is abusive.
His hitting you is abusive. You slapping him is, yes, abusive, but given your level of frustration, I can see it.
He's also gas-lighting you (he told you he wanted to cheat on you then denied every saying it, trying to convince you it was all in your head) And, trust me, he's not hanging out with models. He's saying things like this to screw with your head.
Look up on Google narcissistic abuse and the anagram DARVO (Deny, Attack and Reverse victim and Offender) and I'm sure you'll see a pattern developing.
You need to get away from this guy and once you're settled into your own place, you'll want therapy to help you heal from his abuse. You've been in a relationship that has you questioning your sanity because of the way he makes everything your fault, you're the crazy one, you have no idea what you're talking about, etc. It took me three years of therapy before I could trust my own thoughts, ideas, and choices again. I refused to date anyone until I knew I could trust myself again.
And I'm gonna give you a leg up on my personal journey from leaving my narcissistic abuser after 23 years of being married to him. I asked my therapist once why he would or anyone else would willingly treat someone the way he treated me? His answer? “You'll never know why, nor will he. You're trying to apply logic to an illogical mind.”