I cant tell you how much this empathy is impacting me. Thank you for this.
I agree sex is a horrible thing to be fixated on and in my post above, it is the subject I wanted to focus on as it is the subject she was fixated on with me and said defined as the root of all our issues.
We worked on life building, communication, shared goals, etc. Numerous times we would agree on one of these things through a deep discussion only for her to rarely work on them and when I pointed out they were not being worked on, she would shift the blame to me.
Ex. I was an outdoorsman when I met her and still am and the entire time I told her how important it was for me to have a wife that gets outside, that our children get outside. I invited her out on hikes, dog walks, forest drives, city parks, etc. and she rarely did these things with me and when I asked why I would get, “I want it to be just us and not with friends,” or often, “If it is just us, why don't we just hang out and watch a movie?” in which she would coerce me into sex. And when we did go outside together, guess what she wanted to do with me outside, that's right, have sex.
Ex. We wanted to afford a house. Her credit score was too low to qualify even with familial help. I worked 70 hour weeks doing 3 jobs and helped her with credit card payments. As I did this, she started to work less and said it was due to her mental health and thanked me for working so very hot. She said that she needed the chiropractor twice to three times a month. Want to know why? It's because of me and how I had sex with her when she was the one constantly asking for it.
So yeah, I am super looking forward to building a relationship with someone where deep emotional connection, shared goals and values, and strong ties to the community / volunteerism are present and hopefully, I can find a gal that is also willing to peg me along the way.
Thank you for your empathy. We were far too young and I discovered today with friends, she was far too manipulative and narcissistic.
Ok so, he sees this lunch box as a almost a tool.in that, he won't be able to “enjoy it” at any other time. I'm not saying it's a wrong gift, but maybe something you picked up while shopping. Not that its a bad idea at all, but that's his POV. He probably would enjoy something he can enjoy in his leisure time. Does he have a hobby? Any interest? I'd suggest a subscription box. I usually use that for an guy that I know. 3 subscriptions should do the trick…….buttt he should be able to communicate it. You should be his mommy. BUT him paying for your gift with you card???? Child like behavior.
Saying some random person's name in this context makes no sense. We don't know her, it would give us less information than how he phrased it. I really can't believe I need to explain this to you.
She should not have married you if she was feeling that way. Wasn't fair to either of you.
You mentioned your physique, not being attracted to you can be more than not being attracted to your body.
She probably slept well that night because she hadn't finally told you and a weight had been lifted off of her.
Considering everything counseling might not work. You can't make someone love you. Plus, she has broken your trust and that is very hot to get back. Even if you think you have it back it keeps popping up when the least little thing happens.
I cant tell you how much this empathy is impacting me. Thank you for this.
I agree sex is a horrible thing to be fixated on and in my post above, it is the subject I wanted to focus on as it is the subject she was fixated on with me and said defined as the root of all our issues.
We worked on life building, communication, shared goals, etc. Numerous times we would agree on one of these things through a deep discussion only for her to rarely work on them and when I pointed out they were not being worked on, she would shift the blame to me.
Ex. I was an outdoorsman when I met her and still am and the entire time I told her how important it was for me to have a wife that gets outside, that our children get outside. I invited her out on hikes, dog walks, forest drives, city parks, etc. and she rarely did these things with me and when I asked why I would get, “I want it to be just us and not with friends,” or often, “If it is just us, why don't we just hang out and watch a movie?” in which she would coerce me into sex. And when we did go outside together, guess what she wanted to do with me outside, that's right, have sex.
Ex. We wanted to afford a house. Her credit score was too low to qualify even with familial help. I worked 70 hour weeks doing 3 jobs and helped her with credit card payments. As I did this, she started to work less and said it was due to her mental health and thanked me for working so very hot. She said that she needed the chiropractor twice to three times a month. Want to know why? It's because of me and how I had sex with her when she was the one constantly asking for it.
So yeah, I am super looking forward to building a relationship with someone where deep emotional connection, shared goals and values, and strong ties to the community / volunteerism are present and hopefully, I can find a gal that is also willing to peg me along the way.
Thank you for your empathy. We were far too young and I discovered today with friends, she was far too manipulative and narcissistic.
You have laid it out great for OP. If she’s thinking this is controlling they are simply not incompatible.
Ok so, he sees this lunch box as a almost a tool.in that, he won't be able to “enjoy it” at any other time. I'm not saying it's a wrong gift, but maybe something you picked up while shopping. Not that its a bad idea at all, but that's his POV. He probably would enjoy something he can enjoy in his leisure time. Does he have a hobby? Any interest? I'd suggest a subscription box. I usually use that for an guy that I know. 3 subscriptions should do the trick…….buttt he should be able to communicate it. You should be his mommy. BUT him paying for your gift with you card???? Child like behavior.
She showed you exactly who she is. Believe her. This wasn’t an honest mistake. This was betrayal considered and played out.
leave him, and stay safe
I also think #4 is a dead giveaway she's not pregnant
Saying some random person's name in this context makes no sense. We don't know her, it would give us less information than how he phrased it. I really can't believe I need to explain this to you.
She should not have married you if she was feeling that way. Wasn't fair to either of you.
You mentioned your physique, not being attracted to you can be more than not being attracted to your body.
She probably slept well that night because she hadn't finally told you and a weight had been lifted off of her.
Considering everything counseling might not work. You can't make someone love you. Plus, she has broken your trust and that is very hot to get back. Even if you think you have it back it keeps popping up when the least little thing happens.
Good luck..