Give her an ultimatum: “Either you start paying me back or I have to put your transitioning/hormonal treatments in pause. I am not gifting this money to you and you know that. I've spent $_______ on helping you and you have not shown the slightest effort to repay me.”
All I see in the comments are you laughing off the distrustful things he did because you live! together and it’s convenient. This guy doesn’t give a crap about respecting you. You need to respect yourself and leave him. If actions don’t have consequences (real ones), people don’t grow and change. He blatantly showed you he doesn’t care by getting the screen protector and you’re still believing his BS.
I dated a guy like this. You better believe I ignored these very red flags and stayed. And did I ever regret it. Legal battles, cheating over and over through our relationship. Leave now and run fast.
To start things off bluntly- your wife does not get to have a child the two of you cannot realistic take care off to make herself feel better. That's a terrible idea and you're looking at pushing a much worse quality of life on you, your wife, and your kids if you have another child for the sole reason that she's looking for a new purpose and a new challenge.
That's the very blunt version. Obviously, your wife is going through a very hard time right now. I can understand why she feels lost and why she's grasping for something, anything, that makes her feel like she's contributing to some higher purpose. But she cannot expect other people- including babies- to fill that hole for her. If she wants a new challenge, to feel like she's a part of something important again, then I agree she would probably find a lot more happiness and fulfillment in a new career.
I would recommend finding someone to take the kids for a night and sitting down for a very serious talk with your wife. I would be very gentle, but firm, that another baby just can't happen with your mental health issues and her physical health. Tell her you love her, you support her, and you want to help her find fulfillment in her life again. But you will not be having another baby with her. It would just be too selfish.
Why are you married at 19.
Give her an ultimatum: “Either you start paying me back or I have to put your transitioning/hormonal treatments in pause. I am not gifting this money to you and you know that. I've spent $_______ on helping you and you have not shown the slightest effort to repay me.”
All I see in the comments are you laughing off the distrustful things he did because you live! together and it’s convenient. This guy doesn’t give a crap about respecting you. You need to respect yourself and leave him. If actions don’t have consequences (real ones), people don’t grow and change. He blatantly showed you he doesn’t care by getting the screen protector and you’re still believing his BS.
I dated a guy like this. You better believe I ignored these very red flags and stayed. And did I ever regret it. Legal battles, cheating over and over through our relationship. Leave now and run fast.
Too late bro. If you really love someone you don't stick your dick in someone else without their permission.
To start things off bluntly- your wife does not get to have a child the two of you cannot realistic take care off to make herself feel better. That's a terrible idea and you're looking at pushing a much worse quality of life on you, your wife, and your kids if you have another child for the sole reason that she's looking for a new purpose and a new challenge.
That's the very blunt version. Obviously, your wife is going through a very hard time right now. I can understand why she feels lost and why she's grasping for something, anything, that makes her feel like she's contributing to some higher purpose. But she cannot expect other people- including babies- to fill that hole for her. If she wants a new challenge, to feel like she's a part of something important again, then I agree she would probably find a lot more happiness and fulfillment in a new career.
I would recommend finding someone to take the kids for a night and sitting down for a very serious talk with your wife. I would be very gentle, but firm, that another baby just can't happen with your mental health issues and her physical health. Tell her you love her, you support her, and you want to help her find fulfillment in her life again. But you will not be having another baby with her. It would just be too selfish.
Yes, this. My gf and I always see or hear something and then immediately discuss if we were in that situation.