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Scar, 99 y.o.
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Date: October 17, 2022
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People have used books for researching this kind of thing for decades (centuries?) before internet and AI chatbots where a thing. Most great speeches and dialog from movies etc are the conscious and unconscious influence of what the author has learned from those that came before him. He is using the best tools available to him to do the best job possible for you. He *could* have carried you home from the ceremony, or put you on a cart. But you probably had a car for that purpose, correct?
He's currently showing your sons that love=abuse. You are setting at least one of those boys up to be abused by those he thinks love him (romantically and platonically) for the rest of his life
Do you not realize that people who are treated like this growing up are overwhelmingly likely to accept abuse from their future spouses???!
Dad fucked around, found out. He owes your sister a pretty Earth-shattering apology if he wants to clean up his mess. And make no mistake it's his mess to clean.
they are not a man nor were born a man i’m a lesbian
She needs her wants met. FTFY
He said he did 3 lines around 2-3 and thats when he got sick and passed out around 330, 530 is when he had woken up and headed home. But yeah i spoke with him last night, i was like listen i appreciate you being honest about it and telling me, but im still allowed to have feelings about it, it made me feel like you dont value our relationship or me that you were willing to put us in an even more vulnerable state for a line of coke. Basically he apologized and knew he messed up and told me that was the last time he was planning on hanging with them becuade theyre around it all the time and thats how they kinda convinced him to come back to the house. He said hes going to start hanging with his old friends who play basketball and make music cause he recognizes the people in his current circle are all toxic for his situation and are just people who hang around cause he used to sell and now that he doesnt he sees who actually cares about him, and who just wants him for coke/ to do drugs with. So well see, obviously actions speak louder than words, but hes starting to see he cant just be around it and expect to not fall into temptation at some point like you said. He did give me his phone when i asked and i saw messages from a day before where someone asked him if he wanted some and he said “no man im taking this seriously i already told you its been a month” so i really do believe hes being genuine and he really just fucked up, but well see if he actually starts surrounding himself with better influences or not
So by your own words you’ve made it clear you have stopped doing things together, spend a lot of time without him doing things with/around others, and have stopped doing things in the relationship that he likely took as you showing him you love and care about him.
You’ve said nothing about what he is/isn’t contributing so the only way to view this situation is through these things you have shared.
With that said, what are you doing together anymore? Do you make time for him? Based on the reactions he’s giving you have shared it seems as though you’re just leaving him behind and don’t really care about his feelings and needs.
Do you even want to be with him anymore? Based on your account you’ve been pretty much acting as though you aren’t in a marriage, doing all these things for yourself and making no time/effort for your relationship. Based in this very limited account, it seems as though your husband sees the slow decline of your marriage and that it’s just a matter of time before you end it.
Go to where he lives and get it?
you have been emotionally distant for 3 years when you said :
every time that something was happening I always found support somewhere else.
That would make you emotionally distant during the years of your most trying things in your life, you didn't feel comfortable discussing them with your SO.
I think that is where the commenter was coming from.
Not letting someone you call an SO, in on your most scary/trying times, is being emotionally distant.
Your bf might take the past as “well, why should OP talk to me, they haven't bothered in the past, so why should I bother to care now?”