You’ve been in a LONG distance relationship for a very long time, maybe it’s time to consider that all that time away as caused you to grow apart. Nothing wrong with it, it happens. I know that for me I would not be able to have a relationship work with that type of distance and time between us.
You both sound like you are woefully incompatible and it’s not going to get better. I’m sorry to say, but it doesn’t sounds he wants to give this relationship 100 %. These “compromises” you made won’t help either. He didn’t want the child, it also sounds that he didn’t really want to get married either. This can breed resentment, even if he went along with it.
And, I might be the cynic here so you can definitely disregard this comment since there is no evidence whatsoever but with him not initiating sex anymore, it’s possible he is going to find that attention outside of your marriage. Maybe not now, but there’s a big chance it will happen in the future. Seen it multiple times before, tale as old as time.
My advice: have one more serious conversation about what you both want out of life and this relationship, especially parenting. If you come to the conclusion that both of you still want different things, it might be best to cut your losses.
PTSD and CPTSD doesn’t look like peeing on someone without consent. This is a different kind of issue maybe impulse control, power dynamics, personality disorder. If trama is the root of why they have issues with power dynamics, control, or a personality disorder it doesn’t absolve them of responsibility. Nor does it excuse this behavior. Plenty of people have all of the above and still do not do this. You should really have strong reservations on moving forward in any way with this person.
Well, kids are something people should align on early on as far as yes/no, but again, talking marriage and kids more in detail so early is kind of a red flag to me.
Why don't you answer my question instead of writing something that isn't relevant ?
You’ve been in a LONG distance relationship for a very long time, maybe it’s time to consider that all that time away as caused you to grow apart. Nothing wrong with it, it happens. I know that for me I would not be able to have a relationship work with that type of distance and time between us.
You both sound like you are woefully incompatible and it’s not going to get better. I’m sorry to say, but it doesn’t sounds he wants to give this relationship 100 %. These “compromises” you made won’t help either. He didn’t want the child, it also sounds that he didn’t really want to get married either. This can breed resentment, even if he went along with it.
And, I might be the cynic here so you can definitely disregard this comment since there is no evidence whatsoever but with him not initiating sex anymore, it’s possible he is going to find that attention outside of your marriage. Maybe not now, but there’s a big chance it will happen in the future. Seen it multiple times before, tale as old as time.
My advice: have one more serious conversation about what you both want out of life and this relationship, especially parenting. If you come to the conclusion that both of you still want different things, it might be best to cut your losses.
PTSD and CPTSD doesn’t look like peeing on someone without consent. This is a different kind of issue maybe impulse control, power dynamics, personality disorder. If trama is the root of why they have issues with power dynamics, control, or a personality disorder it doesn’t absolve them of responsibility. Nor does it excuse this behavior. Plenty of people have all of the above and still do not do this. You should really have strong reservations on moving forward in any way with this person.
At the time I called it amazing. Now me and my cardiologist call it the “thing I probably shouldn't have done”.
It's okay though, the damage is pretty minimal.
That's…not a counter-argument. You can ask for advice at any age, even if it's Reddit. Don't see any childish comments here yet.
Well, kids are something people should align on early on as far as yes/no, but again, talking marriage and kids more in detail so early is kind of a red flag to me.
You have a drinking problem and your abuse is also a problem.
This is bad. Hell I’d just get up and leave him.