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Date: October 30, 2022
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Thank you so much for your comments. I should write a letter and decide whether to send it or not a bit later. Thank you so much
That argument of hers “you should be comfortable with me reading your messages if there’s nothing to hide” is a famous logical fallacy and manipulation tactic from Nazi germany, “you have nothing to fear if you have nothing to hide”. She sounds just lovely. /s She could be a full on narc or she could be still hurting from her previous relationship and instead of going to therapy she decided a new relationship sounds like a good idea. Either way, you’re not wrong for excluding your friend. He broke your trust to gain hers.
Omg 7 and a half years and he didn't even recognise your car! See being together that long you would definitely expect him to come rushing over to see if youre okay!
Its very nude because unfortunately I have clinical depression but have found that when im with my partner it does help me feel a lot better, but thats not a valid reason to stay in a relationship like this really
I think the fact that the gf knew the surprise party was at a sushi restaurant and decided to take him to a birthday dinner the night before at another sushi restaurant is pretty sus. If she was just annoyed that they went to dinner, that would be ridiculous. But it sounds like the gf was intentionally petty.
Would you be able to exercise instead 9f drinking? My brother and husband both ramp up the physical activity when going through really tough emotional times.
I'm sorry this happened to you. You'll get through it.
An abusive relationship is not worth losing your therapist over. Your therapist just wants you to be safe and to heal and they know you can’t do that if you stay in this relationship. You can do this!! You can leave and live a beautiful life!! My cousin finally got out of a a horrible abusive relationship and it makes me cry seeing how happy she is. The dark cloud that man had over her is gone and it’s so damn beautiful. You deserve to have that, but only you can get it for yourself. Best of luck to you!
That's insulting to people in their 20s lol.
Sounds like you guys need better boundaries and more effective communication.
He says the issue isnt not texting him but the lack of effort. So if you showed effort another ways, would he still feel like this is an issue? Or does he specifically feel like he would like more effort on the texting front?
If he wants more effort with texting, what are some healthy expectations here? Personally, I think if you're out with friends, its rude to be texting and on your phone. Those relationships also deserve your attention. However, if you said you'd be home by 10 and its 11, I think its valid to check in so he doesn't worry about your safety. You guys have to figure out your own boundaries on texting when you're apart.
If he needs more effort, what does that look like? He can't expect you to be a mind reader. Everyone has a responsibility to identify and ask for what they need. Does he need you to initiate time together? Does it make him happy if you buy him is favorite snack randomly? You need a specific win condition. If he is bringing up an issue but then refusing to be apart of the solution, that's something he needs to work through because that puts too much strain on the relationship.
The best apology is understanding the issue and changing behavior. The answers to number one will help you understand the issue better and prevent this kind of miscommunication from happening again. The answers to number two will give you a direction in terms of how to validate his feelings and make him feel cared about.
Ultimately, you're not stupid for not texting him back. You were doing a solo activity and caught in conversation. It happens. This is an issue of poorly communicated expectations. The sooner you fine tune your communication together, the easier it's going to be to overcome these kinds of things going forward.
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Then leave. The room. The house. The marriage. Whatever. You’re bigger than a five year old. Walk away and do t allow yourself to be hit or bit. Good grief.
You are 26 and have a curfew from a 36 year old man child. There's a reason he's dating someone 10yrs younger than him. No woman his age would tolerate this nonsense.
Either she wants to be married to you or she was married prior and is used to introducing her “date” as her husband.
Ask her and let us know.
Proposal after 6 months? You barely know them! And you have communication/relationship troubles that need to be resolved first.
Updateme!
His best friend didn’t send a butt or bra pic though. It doesn’t sound like he’s had issues with you being friends with this guy. He has an issue with this guy sending his wife a shirtless picture and if roles were reversed you’d probably be upset too.
Mack's earplugs are the only kind I really like.
You might want to look up symptoms of sleep apnea. Since you're awake from his snoring, you would notice some of it. He would notice other symptoms. If it seems like it could be contributing at all, he should see a doctor if that's an affordable option for him right now. It does happen to people in their 20s unfortunately, doctor is the only way to know for sure.
Definitely fake, dude has 2 other posts over the last 2 days
So I didn’t like that word either but I wonder if it was to help us(readers) to understand how she feels. She explained that she likes a more dominant man so that word was used to show that this makes him less “manly” to her preference. I don’t think she’s homophobic though – she doesn’t care that there are men like this, but she doesn’t find them attractive. Again I am assuming, I did not like that word either for this situation
Yep.. cheat or leave, in a cancer study they found that in cases where a partner leaves their sick spouse, men were 6 times more likely to abandon their wives than women were.
She likely already held these views and didn’t know other people felt the same. There’s nothing wrong with her wanting to branch out, but her being so crazy and rude and harmful about it is absolutely unacceptable. Tell her that it’s clear you two cannot have a relationship anymore because you want different things, and tell her that you’re also leaving her because of how she insulted and degraded you over having your own preferences. She doesn’t deserve more respect than you for wanting a different lifestyle. Nonsense.
I’m sorry he’s manipulating you with self-harm threats.
Leave. It’s not on you. Leave him the number for a hotline and call one of his family members to let them know he will be alone and may be in a fragile state. But it’s more likely just a manipulation tactic tbh.
This. My parents were this way and it estranged my relationship with them and left me a mess who only seems to like narcissists as the result. It is so unhealthy. They need to support her choices and help her learn to set and enforce proper boundaries if needed and help her feel good in her relationship. And explain at what point to walk away when there are red flags so she avoids abuse in the future.
This is a slow long path to an inevitable conclusion. You obviously cant ask him to stop being friends with her, but you can choose not to date someone who is committed to another girl in some romantic or emotional capacity. I doubt you’re the first girl he’s dated that felt this way and its ultimately his choice if he wants to cling to a girl that doesn’t want to date him. Whether or not you allow yourself to get dragged along with him waiting for him to decide is up to you