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Date: February 19, 2023
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You say that what your husband did was wrong but honestly I don’t think it was. Your father is abusive. He hit you and based on what you’ve said I’d guess it isn’t the first time. Your husband was defending you and ensuring that your father does not physically abuse you again, I see nothing wrong with that.
You cannot and should not “be in one room as a loving family” with people who abuse you and you should never ask that of your husband. I know I would not be able to have a loving relationship with someone I watched hit my spouse.
You can talk to your family all you want but you cannot make your very loving and respectful husband forget that he saw your father abuse you and the rest of your family do nothing about it. Of course your husband doesn’t want to go back and visit your family in their country and of course he’s worried about you possibly going alone. You have to know that if you go alone your father will probably hit you again, and I can only imagine the emotional abuse you would face.
You need to go to therapy. Regardless of your home countries culture, abuse is never okay. You were abused and you don’t seem to understand the severity of what happened if you think that everything can just be forgotten about.