i think OP comes from a family like my father's where they tell you they don't want anything, then you get crying and screaming when you don't get them anything. you need to get the person something or you'll never stop hearing about it for the next 3 years.
Be completely honest with yourself, OP, you are never going to get over this. You are never going to trust her again. You are never going to believe her expressions of love again. Everything that you want in a happy marriage is gone. FOREVER. you are young. There is plenty of time to heal from this and find a loving, faithful partner who would devote her life to you. Don’t stay with your vermin encrusted soon to be Ex.
I'm 100% with you in understanding why she has kept this private for so long. You guys are both in an awkward spot about it. You might want to reframe how you think of this as a secret, however, as it isn't a secret to you anymore. You know. And for all accounts, you can approach this in a caring, loving supportive way.
Because god forbid this no longer becomes a secret. What if down the road, some shitty coworker, some asshole PTA mom, some estranged family member, etc finds out about her past, and wants to use it to cause your soon to be wife pain. Don't let her go through both that and finding out if her husband is with her. Let her know now that no matter what, you've got her back. Your ability not to judge her for this, your care and concern for her privacy, all of these are the qualities of a wonderful partner. Wonderful partners also sometimes have to have uncomfortable conversations that are for the best in the long run. This is that moment. You'll be glad you did.
You could just say like “hey your phone keeps going off in the middle of the night and waking me up who’s texting you so late??” If he gives you a vague answer I would look more into it.
this is a hard pill to swallow if true. I have known her since I was young and I see her now as a best friend. I would not want to leave her in the dust as though our connection meant nothing, But i think like you said, there is value in working on myself alone. I think it’s interesting what you said about New Purpose. I don’t entirely know what that means but it resonates with me. Thanks again for taking the time out of your day to respond
You were on a Break, they are well within their right to do what they wish with whom they wish, Period. ??♀️
i think OP comes from a family like my father's where they tell you they don't want anything, then you get crying and screaming when you don't get them anything. you need to get the person something or you'll never stop hearing about it for the next 3 years.
Moving forward is something she has to do in her own mind, it’s not something anyone else can do for her.
“I’m not comfortable having a non monogamous relationship. If you’d like to sleep with other people we will need to break up.”
Men and women cheat for the same reasons. Selfishness and ego.
Good grief, again, for all the people in the back:
HE IS NOT A GREAT MAN IF HE IS RAPING YOU!!!
Jesus.
Be completely honest with yourself, OP, you are never going to get over this. You are never going to trust her again. You are never going to believe her expressions of love again. Everything that you want in a happy marriage is gone. FOREVER. you are young. There is plenty of time to heal from this and find a loving, faithful partner who would devote her life to you. Don’t stay with your vermin encrusted soon to be Ex.
I'm 100% with you in understanding why she has kept this private for so long. You guys are both in an awkward spot about it. You might want to reframe how you think of this as a secret, however, as it isn't a secret to you anymore. You know. And for all accounts, you can approach this in a caring, loving supportive way.
Because god forbid this no longer becomes a secret. What if down the road, some shitty coworker, some asshole PTA mom, some estranged family member, etc finds out about her past, and wants to use it to cause your soon to be wife pain. Don't let her go through both that and finding out if her husband is with her. Let her know now that no matter what, you've got her back. Your ability not to judge her for this, your care and concern for her privacy, all of these are the qualities of a wonderful partner. Wonderful partners also sometimes have to have uncomfortable conversations that are for the best in the long run. This is that moment. You'll be glad you did.
You could just say like “hey your phone keeps going off in the middle of the night and waking me up who’s texting you so late??” If he gives you a vague answer I would look more into it.
this is a hard pill to swallow if true. I have known her since I was young and I see her now as a best friend. I would not want to leave her in the dust as though our connection meant nothing, But i think like you said, there is value in working on myself alone. I think it’s interesting what you said about New Purpose. I don’t entirely know what that means but it resonates with me. Thanks again for taking the time out of your day to respond