You can't force him to get a surgery. It's his body and he can choose what he does with it. Stop having sex with him if you're uncomfortable or get a different boyfriend. You're only 18, you are likely not gonna be with this guy the rest of your life anyway.
You haven't mentioned anything you've said to her in regards to her statements. Are you quiet or do you speak up? Any walk back could be because she doesn't know how you would take it.
Be upfront and direct. Ask her if she would like to start a relationship and if so, bring something to the table. Bring up an idea for a first real date and lock it in.
This…. Is literally rape. I’m sorry OP…. Seriously…. That is absolutely heartbreaking and life shattering. Whether you two were serious or not… NONE of that is okay.
Things will never be the same again with you two. Seriously ask yourself if you want to stay knowing how he treated you that way. Both him and his brother. What happens in the future if you two have a falling out and he doesn’t want to see your side? Suddenly you might be “married” to his brother and you’d have no idea. A bit of an extreme scenario, but…. I could never trust him again if I was in your shoes.
I am SO sorry you’re going through this. It’s absolutely DISGUSTING, and ANY feelings you have are valid, so please remember that and be kind to yourself in these moments. ❤️
Maybe suggest a date night, where each of you prepares a list of topics you'd like to discuss so that you can get to know each other better and find out if it is a good match.
Originally we both got out of toxic relationships and have been there for each other. Now gues also part of it in the beginning was that I was also codependent. But I’m healing and she’s freaking out, like my growth is scaring her? So now I’m pretty much looking for a way to keep her as a friend but at a distance, and she respect my space and privacy. But based on the advice I’ve been getting it’s very adamant that she probably won’t change and I’ll have to eventually cut it off
In my opinion if I’m married and I want to snoop…I’ll snoop all day everyday if I feel the need to. Typically there’s a reason or something just feels off. I don’t snoop just for the hell of it. If I find something or have a question I will absolutely bring it up. There is no crime in wanting transparency and honesty in a relationship.
Maybe you or a woman's body in general doesn't excite him? Or maybe he feels too much pressure…talk with him about it?
The husband slept with the friend. Ergo ex lover.
Did your wife grow up rich by any chance? Her behavior really leads me to believe she's never had to want for anything in her life
You can't force him to get a surgery. It's his body and he can choose what he does with it. Stop having sex with him if you're uncomfortable or get a different boyfriend. You're only 18, you are likely not gonna be with this guy the rest of your life anyway.
You haven't mentioned anything you've said to her in regards to her statements. Are you quiet or do you speak up? Any walk back could be because she doesn't know how you would take it.
Be upfront and direct. Ask her if she would like to start a relationship and if so, bring something to the table. Bring up an idea for a first real date and lock it in.
This…. Is literally rape. I’m sorry OP…. Seriously…. That is absolutely heartbreaking and life shattering. Whether you two were serious or not… NONE of that is okay.
Things will never be the same again with you two. Seriously ask yourself if you want to stay knowing how he treated you that way. Both him and his brother. What happens in the future if you two have a falling out and he doesn’t want to see your side? Suddenly you might be “married” to his brother and you’d have no idea. A bit of an extreme scenario, but…. I could never trust him again if I was in your shoes.
I am SO sorry you’re going through this. It’s absolutely DISGUSTING, and ANY feelings you have are valid, so please remember that and be kind to yourself in these moments. ❤️
Just to correct this. I was buying books on intimacy and marriage way before this. Not after my fuck up.
Maybe suggest a date night, where each of you prepares a list of topics you'd like to discuss so that you can get to know each other better and find out if it is a good match.
This sounds more like a private arrangement than a corporate thing?
Like that’s he boyfriend is paying a friend to be his assistant. Not that they are both employed by a company.
Otherwise this would be extremely inappropriate just from the HR standpoint.
But even then; they are both not respecting the relationship of OP/BF one bit, by continuing these relationship like behaviours.
Originally we both got out of toxic relationships and have been there for each other. Now gues also part of it in the beginning was that I was also codependent. But I’m healing and she’s freaking out, like my growth is scaring her? So now I’m pretty much looking for a way to keep her as a friend but at a distance, and she respect my space and privacy. But based on the advice I’ve been getting it’s very adamant that she probably won’t change and I’ll have to eventually cut it off
This was well said. Can’t add any more to it. OP good luck.
How did you find him under a fake name? With the photo? Or was the app on his phone?
In my opinion if I’m married and I want to snoop…I’ll snoop all day everyday if I feel the need to. Typically there’s a reason or something just feels off. I don’t snoop just for the hell of it. If I find something or have a question I will absolutely bring it up. There is no crime in wanting transparency and honesty in a relationship.