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Alessia-Taylor Public Chat Channel
Date: October 7, 2022
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bye bye . pack your sht and leave dont even bring it up .
I don't agree with the idea that you should have talked to him about it first. I mean, he didn't even notice you had 2 nights in that other room!!
You guys are basically separated pending his own therapy. You don't have to get permission to move your things in your own home. That's how separating works. Him not accepting counseling and putting a timelinenon divorce is effectively separating.
In my eyes you acted like any normal person would. He is just finding things to blame you for because he needs you to be the scapegoat so that he doesn't focus on how much this is on him fucking up his own life.
Don't discuss sh*t with him; prepare your finances; just get in contact with a lawyer and divorce his ass. Unbelievable. May need that Reddit post for evidence possibly will speed up the process.
And serve divorce documents to your spouse by hand on his birthday.
So.. if I'm the guy this is how I'm seeing it. I meet this sweet girl. She seems very reserved when it comes to sex and intimacy. But you know, I'm willing to live with that as i could really see myself becoming serious with this girl. We become official, but instead of having sex she starts telling me about her previous encounters. And unfortunately it turns out that everything i thought was considered uncomfortable for her.. wasn't uncomfortable with previous flings even around the same time as she saw me(oral counts). I feel hurt.
Honestly i don't know the reason you played it differently with this guy, but the only logical reason for the guy would be that you A: had all your fun and just want to find a stable guy to settle down with. B: you simply isn't attracted to him like you were the other guys. Sex is a really important part of any relationship especially if you feel like you found “the one”. It wouldn't become “sex based only” if you wanted to be intimate him earlier. Any man would be hurt to hear that you previously had an exciting sex life, but for some reason don't want to have that with him. While i have no clue what you could say to save the relationship, i do have one question for you. Why? Why are you still not wanting to have that exciting sex life with your partner? What made you want to do it multiple times a day in the past, give and recieve oral, have sex in public etc?. I know you for some reason aren't willing/wanting to do those things now, but why is it STILL like that? I would assume you feel comfortable with him sexually now so why is it still like this?
When did the relationship finally end?
I’m not really sure why you’re a) focusing on that one statement alone after everything I said telling you you’re right, and b) seemingly attacking me for suggesting that OTHER people will likely call you an asshole.
I didn’t say that because I think you’re an asshole. I said that because many people have that misguided belief on sex and I was preparing you for it.
I don’t need to ask you any more questions. I’m entirely with you here.
I know you want to believe what she's telling you, but you came here looking for someone who can analyze the situation without emotions clouding judgement. She's putting the label “friends” to alleviate any potential guilt from her conscious if she is to talk to someone else. What she says she wants isn't necessarily what she'll end up doing.
How immature can a person be? Why go to a very expensive place, know what everyone ordered, and then say I take care of it knowing you can't? Your gf knows her bank statements and knows what she can afford.
OP, it's not your responsibility for her making an ass out of herself and right now you can't do anything. Either she grows up and apologizes to you, or she will leave you and stay as an idiot.
Who mentioned polyamory?
This isn't the Rosenberg trial. You have plenty of enough evidence of his affair. And you don't need to confront him again. There’s no point. All he's going to do is insult your intelligence with stupid lies, and pretend that you're “crazy,” and not that he's clearly fucking his coworker every time he can get away for 45 minutes.
You do not need to convince HIM that HE is having an affair. He can play dumb forever, and he will as long as it keeps you in this ludicrous holding pattern, digging for ever more damning clues. You can be done now.
Time for next steps. He's having an affair, what do you do? Go see an individual counselor to get an objective opinion. Go see an attorney.
I feel like that’s really crossing the line of what’s acceptable on top of it also being way too soon. I’d be in absolute shock if my ex boyfriend starting banging my brother so if I were you I’d avoid that which honestly doesn’t seem that naked to do. Does she know you’re bi?
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He has these boundaries which I barely do tbh I think it’s a projection because of his ex girlfriends however I fear that this is the start of controlling and possessive behavior.
Every-time I explain to him that some of these make me uncomfortable such as wearing shorts under a mini skirt. He tells me that why should he pay for me and be a breadwinner or work harder and be successful if I don’t do this for him and make him feel secure. (Btw he’s broke, I push him to try and be successful that he doesn’t like it makes him feel inadequate and I always pay for him because he can’t make it to the end of the month) He says I want a traditional man but can’t be a traditional women. I don’t feel comfortable with having to over analyze what I wear to make sure I look okay before leaving the house.
Here are the list of rules he gave me (copy and pasted the message):
Dress appropriately – I shouldn’t be able to see ur nipples regardless of lighting – A mini skirt should have shorts on so ur phat arse isn’t hanging out – No fetish gear Talk with respect – my girlfriend is mean to be a safe space. – Patronising language is not acceptable. – Aspects of being a ‘man’ do not need to be discussed with a woman – Don’t mention ur exs – Don’t mention my exs – Allow me to initiate conversations about my past and allow me to decide if I want to talk about it Dont accept free tickets from other men – no drinks from randos – No free meals – No yatch parties and jet setting Male relationships – no 1-on-1 in person ‘dates’ – No jacuzzis with men – No men in bathroom with u – Ignore the minute u suspect it’s sexual and block if they persist Space – Respect for time – Respect for request for space (this I need to present better) I would like some representation on ur Instagram but I guess that we have talked about
^ That was his text. They’re non negotiable and he said I have to choose being single or wearing shorts under my skirt.