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alexapeter33, 33 y.o.
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Date: October 17, 2022
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It sucks because I fell for her. She told me she was going to show me what a healthy relationship looked like after my ex gaslit and lied to me for years before emotionally cheating on me
She only admitted it to explain to the guy why she's going to be putting distance between the two of them.
Most of what you said is perfect but #3 Is that what you would say if it was a woman? No, he shouldn’t ask himself those questions. What did it effect? Your ego? Shame on you, you know that is not the advice you would give a woman.
Update: he told them yesterday and now him and I are done.
Just kidding ?
He did tell them and they are apprehensive but happy for him. Said they don't care about the age but it is an adjustment to see him with someone other than their mom. They told him that he sounds happy and they can't wait to see him in a month. And they'd like to meet me.
As per usual, I worried for nothing.
She wants to work it out with her husband and you want infos on divorce? Newsflash, you cannot divorce at her place. It's solely her decision to make, not yours at all. And she made it clear she doesn't want it to happen. Also be careful with what you think you know about her relationship with her husband. You know only what she told you and she's the kind of person who has no troubles not only lying, but leading a double life. You want an advice? Get out of that hard mess. Seems to me she won't leave her husband anytime soon (if ever). Very much of her culture is surely internalized by now and if divorce is a big no in her culture, it most probably is a big no to her too. Also if family ties are above all in her culture (as far as I know, they usually are), she won't be inclined to relinquish her family for the sake of a new relationship. Her family liking her husband could create a huge mess if she leaves her husband too. On top of being looked as someone who broke their culture's rules she will be looked at as a woman who messed with another taboo: cheating on her “good” husband. And trust me, in those kind of cultures a male cheating is not comparable with a woman cheating at all. She knows all of that and that's probably why she wants to backtrack. Move on would be my advice. And avoid “dating” women who are in a relationship. It rarely turns out to be a good idea.
Nope, loads of people pointing out the massive gap. And OP is completely silent on it. Feels like a troll tbh
Yeah, THIS! I felt odd about the comment above yours because one of the first things I noticed is OP working for free for a guy that doesn't have finances and legalities tied to her. She's not benefiting AT ALL from what she does for him.
I wouldn't be surprised if her feelings for not being appreciated come from there.
Yeah! It is time to claim to be gf only again. For me, him not buying a fan for you is a red flag. You having to ask to be compensated or appreciated is also a red flag. Is it with that type of person that you want to be partners for life?! Someone that you have to find angles on how to approach for common sense things!? Yes, you're helping him, OP, and it's a passion project, but it's still his business, so he knows he's getting free labor from you.
Unless the discussion is about marriage and joint accounts, halt your help for when “he puts a ring on it” – still, I would not bet on a person already showing this kind of character if I were you.
People can be very good at hiding their inherent flaws. This cycle is going to repeat itself, and more frequently going forward. She's got some problems she needs to work through, and only a professional can help her with it.