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alexislondon chat
Date: October 7, 2022
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What is he doing about his issue, aside from treating you like a criminal? Why is it your responsibility to figure out how to solve the problem of him treating you badly?
You are putting your “new” family over her but she’s an adult, your children are minors. From what you’ve said it seems like she just is jealous of the opportunities your younger children have that she didn’t. Do you spend time with her on your own without your wife and younger kids? Make sure you put aside some time to talk to her, spend time with her. Maybe go on a father daughter trip now and then.
But she does seem a bit entitled if she expects you to pay for her entire car cost. Obviously if you had some extra cash you could have given her some. But most families don’t have that flexibility and most adult children don’t expect their parents to pay for all of those hidden costs either. You’re right she could have taken a bus. Losing her job was a consequence she made.
It’s hard to say if she’s that resentful because she’s entitled or if there’s years of resentment because you did prioritize the new family over her. In this specific situation it seems like you didn’t. But those feelings must come from somewhere so it seems like a good 1v1 heart to heart talk is needed.
Yeah that's not cheating.
Rude..hurtful… disrespectful, yes.
Worth breaking up over? Totally your decision. You likely made the right one – because if he can think of dating another person, then it sounds like he's not as committed to the relationship as you are.
But it's not cheating if nothing sexual happened and there was no emotional involvement.
Thinking someone else is attractive or date-able isn't cheating. Acting on those thoughts definitely is…
I'm not cheating on my husband just because I have the hots for Jason Momoa…
You should probably continue therapy for yourself. Your life would become you managing him through repeated cycles of this. As his friend and mother have described and explained to you. He needs to be in the psych ward to get stabilized, not to have you visit and give him false hope and/or making plans for another vacation.
He threatened to kill you both, regularly verbally assaults you, screams at you, has horrible anger problems, and threatens to kill himself if things don't go his way.
This is abuse. This is abuse THIS IS ABUSE. There isn't anything you can do to get him to change. He doesn't even see what he does as an issue, so why would he even try?
You need to leave, because this is escalating and next time, he might actually drive you both off the road
No you aren’t wrong
That's the thing about relationships. You can't avoid these conversations out of fear. They need to happen eventually.
Advice would be appreciated
Woah woah woah woah – do you like this person or not? Is the sex good or not?
You cannot un-ring a bell. Do you want to throw away two different relationships, or just your friend?
Because at this point, the damage has been done. If you're really into this person, don't throw it away because of guilt.
But if you're not into this person, be prepared to be fallout at home too if you stop. Start looking for other living arrangements.
What TF went down OP?
That’s fuckin dumb