I don’t feel like he is freeloading, but I do think there’s times where I feel he doesn’t appreciate what I have been doing. His father has coddled him his whole life up until now, so he’s not used to having adult responsibilities. Unfortunately, I did not know this, until we moved in together. There were probably flags from the beginning, but I must’ve subconsciously ignored him. All of the other men I dated before never made me feel like I was the center of their world like he does. But he does slip in household chores. Example: I cooked a special dinner the other night after I finished work and asked him to clean up as I was very tired. He said he’d do it and I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning to the same mess I had left turns out he got stuck playing video games and forgot due to his ADHD. And yes I feel the need to stress how very hot I work and am not spoiled because he throws it in my face that I grew up with money and I don’t know what it’s like wondering what or when the next meal will be and I should be grateful to eat whatever. Eating at that restaurant is a sacrifice to me because he’s always saying how he does things he doesn’t like to do I.e. watch anime with me; even though he doesn’t want to because he’s not interested. I’ve sacrificed a lot more like my money and relationship with my family to be with him, but I don’t like to bring that up to him because he’ll say I’m throwing that in his face. Idk
So I'm against the whole 'involve her mother' thing. You're only talking to this girl and going to her mom is pretty creepy to me until you've been in a relationship for awhile and have built up a relationship with her mom as well. It just kind of smacks of overfamiliarity.
I think you should go to a florist and ask for a nice bouquet of mixed flowers in mixed colors. When you give it to this girl, tell her you wanted to get her favorite flowers but didn't know what they are so you got her a little bit of everything instead. Then talk about what her favorite flower is, what her fav flower in the bouquet is, what flower colors she likes, etc. It will show that you're interested in learning about her likes and dislikes. And most importantly, when she tells you what her favorites are, remember them!
This isn't a job for Reddit, it's a job for couple's counseling.
Your boyfriend's reaction is irrational and childish, and your reaction to his reaction is not sustainable. Most of all, there's virtually zero communication going on here. Get to counseling ASAP and if he refuses to go, tell him it's getting counseling or getting broken up with, because that's what you'll need to do.
I don't know how much vacation time this guy usually gets, but it doesn't sound like he's saving any of it up for you. There's no way that this is okay with me. It should be okay with you. It's disrespectful; all of his plans are things he could easily change – when he goes, how long he goes for etc. He wants to go away for 5 weeks with this woman. If I were you, I would want to tell him to go away with her permanently.
You can't win the argument because there's no right or wrong. Keep telling her “it's important to me.” She can't argue against that!
You appear to understand that she is projecting her conflict with her own father, into the relationship you have with yours. I wouldn't attack that. Just keep asserting your position. Maybe let her select the first name, you select the middle one.
I once made a deal that my husband could get a dog, if I could name the baby I was carrying. He said OK if it wasn't anything weird like “Flower” or “Moon Unit.” When I told him what I had in mind he was cool with it, and we were both winners.
Yeah, that is an extremely odd, and over the top, reaction to his situation. She sounds like a child, and he sounds manipulated if he has to explain himself for something that isn't an issue, at all. It's honestly jarring to see people in relationships like this.
I'd say. You should ask him or try talking to him and if he lies be like okay.. and then You should fight fire with fire. Act like you don't care and do the same back. When he's is hurt you tell him why you are being the way your being. Work on you. Make yourself feel beautiful go out on a date even .
That’s true, however, he has explained that he has tried to talk to her about this in a calm adult manner, only for her to shut it down by throwing a fit. It’s in the second to last paragraph down. He can only do so much with communication but when the other person is unwilling to listen, it doesn’t work.
Are you sure it's a bottle? Is he sleeping?
I don’t feel like he is freeloading, but I do think there’s times where I feel he doesn’t appreciate what I have been doing. His father has coddled him his whole life up until now, so he’s not used to having adult responsibilities. Unfortunately, I did not know this, until we moved in together. There were probably flags from the beginning, but I must’ve subconsciously ignored him. All of the other men I dated before never made me feel like I was the center of their world like he does. But he does slip in household chores. Example: I cooked a special dinner the other night after I finished work and asked him to clean up as I was very tired. He said he’d do it and I fell asleep. I woke up the next morning to the same mess I had left turns out he got stuck playing video games and forgot due to his ADHD. And yes I feel the need to stress how very hot I work and am not spoiled because he throws it in my face that I grew up with money and I don’t know what it’s like wondering what or when the next meal will be and I should be grateful to eat whatever. Eating at that restaurant is a sacrifice to me because he’s always saying how he does things he doesn’t like to do I.e. watch anime with me; even though he doesn’t want to because he’s not interested. I’ve sacrificed a lot more like my money and relationship with my family to be with him, but I don’t like to bring that up to him because he’ll say I’m throwing that in his face. Idk
So I'm against the whole 'involve her mother' thing. You're only talking to this girl and going to her mom is pretty creepy to me until you've been in a relationship for awhile and have built up a relationship with her mom as well. It just kind of smacks of overfamiliarity.
I think you should go to a florist and ask for a nice bouquet of mixed flowers in mixed colors. When you give it to this girl, tell her you wanted to get her favorite flowers but didn't know what they are so you got her a little bit of everything instead. Then talk about what her favorite flower is, what her fav flower in the bouquet is, what flower colors she likes, etc. It will show that you're interested in learning about her likes and dislikes. And most importantly, when she tells you what her favorites are, remember them!
If the vaping is a dealbreaker to you just don't ask her out . Nobody can make that decision for you.
Leave. You’re the side chick.
This isn't a job for Reddit, it's a job for couple's counseling.
Your boyfriend's reaction is irrational and childish, and your reaction to his reaction is not sustainable. Most of all, there's virtually zero communication going on here. Get to counseling ASAP and if he refuses to go, tell him it's getting counseling or getting broken up with, because that's what you'll need to do.
I don't know how much vacation time this guy usually gets, but it doesn't sound like he's saving any of it up for you. There's no way that this is okay with me. It should be okay with you. It's disrespectful; all of his plans are things he could easily change – when he goes, how long he goes for etc. He wants to go away for 5 weeks with this woman. If I were you, I would want to tell him to go away with her permanently.
Just tell her “legacy.”
You can't win the argument because there's no right or wrong. Keep telling her “it's important to me.” She can't argue against that!
You appear to understand that she is projecting her conflict with her own father, into the relationship you have with yours. I wouldn't attack that. Just keep asserting your position. Maybe let her select the first name, you select the middle one.
I once made a deal that my husband could get a dog, if I could name the baby I was carrying. He said OK if it wasn't anything weird like “Flower” or “Moon Unit.” When I told him what I had in mind he was cool with it, and we were both winners.
Report him to the police
Went through lots of cuddles and some random make outs.
I dabble in quite hippie circles though.
Yeah, that is an extremely odd, and over the top, reaction to his situation. She sounds like a child, and he sounds manipulated if he has to explain himself for something that isn't an issue, at all. It's honestly jarring to see people in relationships like this.
People don’t usually ask after you kiss. It’s kind of assumed. I get why u might worry about that conversation, but obviously somethings going on.
I'd say. You should ask him or try talking to him and if he lies be like okay.. and then You should fight fire with fire. Act like you don't care and do the same back. When he's is hurt you tell him why you are being the way your being. Work on you. Make yourself feel beautiful go out on a date even .
Communication is the key
That’s true, however, he has explained that he has tried to talk to her about this in a calm adult manner, only for her to shut it down by throwing a fit. It’s in the second to last paragraph down. He can only do so much with communication but when the other person is unwilling to listen, it doesn’t work.
I was supposed to meet a client to sign paperwork yesterday
To clarify, I’m a nurse.
something doesn't add up.
Nurses do not meet clients.