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Alisa, 19 y.o.
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Date: December 17, 2022
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Can we not act like the breadwinner completely barring their partner from using any of their savings is financially abusive?
Literally. His income isn't just his, if it isn't 1% of their savings – surely for being the caretaker, she deserves access to 1% of the marriage money to potentially waste it on someone she chooses worthy?
I mean there's sex positivity and then there's this. Prying into her sex life isn't really sex positive, it's just controlling. It's even weirder that he's friends with your dad and your dad is the boss.
Maybe the dad just gets off on the idea of either you or her having sex, but thinks of you both off limits to himself. Maybe he's just trying to get into your family for money? Whatever is going on it's definitely weird.
So after you asked to look at his phone so you could see his matches and messages, how was he able to gaslight you into deflecting that evidence?
Basically because they believe in Christian God and vote conservatively. I mean, I get why she wouldn't be happy about that, but people are more than their religion and their politics….find other common ground to at least try. But instead, she just says no and won't try.
It's similar and lots of psychologists are using a mix of the two, really interesting to read up on.
Oh please, he’s not clueless. I assume you hold him to adult standards in most aspect of his life, so maintain those standards in this situation, too.
If she’s actually his professional assistant—by which I mean they both work for the same company and he is her supervisor, his behavior is extremely unprofessional. You don’t let your subordinate climb all over you just because she’s a cute girl. People get fired for encouraging situations like this. And he is 100% encouraging it.
Was I technically an adult at 25 and capable of making my own decisions? Sure. Were they good choices that I understood the long term impact of? Not really. 25 is still so young in ways that you are far past. And if you aren’t past that shit, leave this girl alone to enjoy the rest of her twenties without someone potentially pressuring her for things she’s not ready for or someone who wants to feel young again. Maybe not quite creepy but it’s fucking weird. The thing about being older too is that you can find more things in common with her than she may find with you because you have 12 more years of experiences.