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sgemma chat
Date: October 30, 2022
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sgemma chat
Well, that's incredibly shitty of them.
It also puts your fiance in the uncomfortable position of having to find a solution that respects you without destroying links to his family.
Ask him what he thinks would be reasonable. Perhaps he only goes to events with them if they invite you? (Don't demand this. Its just an idea). That would at least kick the ball back into their court.
That’s your opinion. I had a FWB on and off for nearly 4 years & I am getting married in two weeks to my partner (who’s been my healthiest relationship EVER).
I‘m sorry to hear that but the only way you can prevent this is to not have sex with them until they „prove“ they are interested. Take time and don‘t rush into intimacy. If the guy refuses to meet up after you declined hooking up, he‘s not the one anyway.
Moving on is most of the time going NC for a while (for however long it will take).
What will you do if he gets a girlfriend after you break up?
Yes but she is his girlfriend and you are a friend it sucks but many women/men aren’t okay with their partners being friends with opposite sex and Mia seems that woman and you cannot change anything, just hang out with them with your husband
There's no doubt you can do this. Take it slow and go to a few places where women will be. You have a way with words no doubt so initiating conversation won't be naked. Make sure you're upfront with them when the time is right. Just like you looking for something specific the woman will be doing the same.
as if you were some thought ATM for him to withdraw from at will
Holy crap. This is exactly how it feels. This is a great metaphor and I’m going to be keeping it in my pocket.
Men aren't taught this the way we are, and they assume that if you're talking, you're doing so voluntarily, not out of obligation.
Wait, do you mean that men don’t understand or participate in polite acknowledgment? Like that “Oh, neat” ≠ “That’s the most interesting thing ever, please immediately tell me everything you know about it”?
he's obliviously chasing a lively debate on a topic that he finds fascinating, and he would like to discuss it… and couldn't be bothered to think about your side of it.
I think this is it, tbh.
Are you just going to sleep in your car? I thought you said you were moving in with this man?
You don’t want to ruin her trip? No offense but dude, grow some balls and have some self respect.
Break up.
Thank you for understanding me. Im no way nar perfect but I too dont deserve to feel this way . I guess its better for both of us to breakup. Im torn apart this woman means everything to me, she is literally the love of my life but sometimes things arent meant to be . Thank you for the advice ❤️
He is disrespectful and he’s gaslighting you when you call him on it. He’s not joking, and he has repeatedly shown you who he is. You are not being too much and these are all red flags. My advice is to dump him and find someone who doesn’t “joke” about you not being his type, his desire to sleep with other women, and tell you he would cheat and not tell you.
Turn the tables here, and think about how long it would take for you to regain trust in your wife if she had a 4 month affair with a friend. Would you even be able to trust her again?
Also, your wife is dealing with a double betrayal – her friend was your affair partner.
It's not even a year later, and all you did was convince your wife to stay with you and convince her you wouldn't cheat again. Rebuilding trust is going to take a lot more than that, and a lot more effort on your part.
Your word isn't good enough for your wife right now. You can say you won't cheat again, but you broke the biggest promise you made to your wife – your marriage vows. And I'm sure during that 4 month affair you lied on plenty of occasions to your wife.
You two aren't ready for couples therapy. You both need individual therapy first. Your wife needs a safe space to talk about her feelings, and you need to explore why you cheated. You can say you were selfish and “missing the bachelor life” all you want, but that's a simplistic view. You really need to delve deep and understand why you were willing to risk losing someone you love, and why you made the decision to do something that has the potential to ruin your lives.
Until you can honestly accept how much you hurt your wife, how badly you've broken her trust and her heart, and you can be sincerely sorry for your actions and commit to real change, your wife won't have any reason to trust you. And couples therapy won't work unless you are BOTH ready and willing to try to repair the relationship. You may need to come to terms with the fact that your wife may never forgive you.
Based on your post and your other comments here, you're not at the point of seriously wanting to accept what you've done, and you aren't truly repentant. You just want everything to go back to the way it was, but that isn't going to happen. It will never be the same for your wife.
It's not taking too long for your wife to trust you. She hasn't even had time to process what happened, and you're badgering her to get over it. You're still being selfish. Go to therapy.
Him not saying something in an awkward moment while he is working visiting a customer does not mean what you did was alright to him. Don’t get handsy without being asked.
Look, your mom is right. One day your parents or your grandma won’t be around and you’ll have no photos. You won’t care then whether your shoulders are nice looking. However, there is no need to post them on social media, especially as it makes you uncomfortable. Sit her down (not during a special event or holiday) and explain to her that the social media posts make you feel bad. Compromise that she can include you in photos just for her or the family, but to please keep you off social media for the time being.
You really should be in therapy outside of this to help your mental state though. Striving for perfection will never work for you, I have the same issue. Not with body stuff but just in life, and it’s exhausting. You can get help, I did, and relinquish some control there. There are so many problems you can have in the world, being so obsessed with looking perfect is just such a waste of energy. You could put that to better use.