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Amber Summer, 19 y.o.
Location: Texas, United States
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Live Live Sex Chat rooms Amber Summer
Date: December 12, 2022
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You can, but you will eventually burst from holding in your emotions. Also that's not fair to potential partners, because honesty is the single most important thing in a relationship.
I'd start by not having anymore kids with him. Start looking into an exit strategy. Document EVERYTHING. Tell him that you're really upset by what he said and that you can't get out of your head that he said he'd just dump off the kids inFRONT of the kids and then basically turned around and asked for another. What happens if that's a girl too? Do you become a baby machine until he gets that boy? I'd email this and hope he responds by email just for documentation. Dig through all your time together and start looking for other sus shit he did and document it all.
Him spending money on dates, shopping etc in the first month of dating is not good enough for you?
Does he know he's your sugar daddy?
Thanks
Because I'm so used to it that by the time i stop bullshitting myself and face the reality of my situation it's already full blown toxic, gaslight/lovebomb, neglected loyalty, lies, the whole 9 and I'm just drowning In it because I made the choice to be so blind for so long for the benefit of “happily ever after”. Idk does that make sense? I've been working on this downfall for about a year in therapy. I lie to myself about my partners red flags coming out and the nature of the relationship changing completely, because I get my hopes up that I've found a healthy partner when it's going great In the stage where they're putting up their best front; and then when it starts to crumble I want to believe it won't stay fucked up forever because I don't want the hurt again. so i just allow the behaviors when I shouldn't. It's some deep rooted fucked up problem with ignoring my feelings and needs (“staying strong”) for the benefit of those who are important to me at any cost. I know, it's bad. But believe it or not this is progress for me.. I wouldnt even be admitting any of this was a problem to anybody in the past, definitely not to myself
So you’ve arbitrarily decided a year of no sex will make it better? Maam. Therapy will make it better. You’re simply avoiding your trigger until then. I’m not minimizing SA, but I’m saying you’ve decided through no actual advice from a professional to simply avoid a very big part of adult relationships. That is unhealthy coping. Declining sex=ok Avoiding sex and expecting your partner to agree=not ok
You were not the problem. She liked it and that's why it didn't stop, plus she values the atmosphere more than your feelings, which is extremely disrespectful.
Well the time between FWB and cheater was like 3 years. Like I said, I wasn't actively trying to be in a relationship. I wasn't ready for one at the time of FWB. I didn't even mean to get with the cheater, that just sorta happened. I honestly don't know if I'm cut out to be in a relationship, but yes, I am in therapy.
“I don’t know what to do” ?
Yes you do. You’re just hoping someone will give you a magical alternative that will fix all of your problems
Then work on the relationship like 2 adults in their 40s. You mentioned you guys break up and get back together regularly. That’s high school stuff. You sound honestly like you miss having someone close to you more than you actually miss him. There’s a reason you ended the relationship numerous times I’m sure. Let him move on with this woman and you mourn the relationship and move on yourself when you’re ready.