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AMETHYST look at my BIO, y.o.
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Date: October 23, 2022
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You have to buy short term disability before your pregnant. She can get healthcare through her employer (after three months most of the time) but that won’t provide her with any income.
This post and your comments tells me you have unresolved trauma from what you went through with your ex, I think your priority should be your mental health and undoing the core beliefs you sadly formed during your other relationship. I see lots of pain projected on to your current partner. You will get through this and feel worthy and valuable again.
Exs are the second highest source of affair partners (after coworkers) so you have every right to have strict boundaries.
In addition, therapists (you can research it) see continued contact with exs as unhealthy and unnecessary. Continued contact is evidence of someone not growing as a person by making new friends and having new experiences.
Both should read: Not Just Friends by Dr Shirley Glass
It's based on research of couples that experienced infidelity. Good people not intending to cheat or even initially attracted.
Lessons learned and best practices for managing friends with the opposite sex.
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If he’s cheating by this default then so is she.
He wants sex to be spontaneous and fun
And it will be. On wednesdays and sundays or whatever.
I don't think he wants to fix this, he's fine with how it is.
Seconded.
Marriage is gonna be hella naked if this is how he is. And honestly marriage is hard in general. It's not smooth sailing always and u will get on each others nerves.
For that yall better know how to communicate effectively. And his comments sound very sexist.
Get in line for what and who? I come from an African country married to a traditional african man that knows i am not with that bullshit. If he wanted that i told him to go find someone that will bow down and submit and just be a dutiful little mouse but he got engaged to me so he should know better.
There is a hell of a difference between respectfulness in marrige and being told ur lesser than and tht ur place is xyz simply because you are a female. Men like this don't change those views that quick and it would quickly come bk up as soon as yall are married and especially when kids show up.
You did the right thing. For yourself! Going into a marriage with doubts like this and an unstable foundation isn't gonna make a great partnership rather just a ship sailing towards divorce and unhappiness.
Thanks. I think it's less about her patience. If anyone's impatient here, it's probably me. She's generally been great- sweet, kind, thoughtful. The conflict avoidance and lack of time is the sticking point for me.
I think she knows this is an issue, but doesn't necessarily know it's reached the level of “I am thinking about ending this for now” or “I want to date other people” yet.
It's easy to pick fights when you're not the one who will be fighting them. Speaking as someone with training in boxing and BJJ who can easily beat 99% of men on earth, I wouldn't pick a fight like that either. So even if you had the ability to protect her, doesn't mean she should be trying to get you to prove it. A divorce seems to be in order here, bro
What’s her @
She's still married, never should have started with her.
We never discussed it before, but in our talk after it happened she said she understands guys watch porn and that I didn't do anything to betray our relationship. Of course her words say that but her actions are saying otherwise. I get that porn addiction is a real thing and this weird online sub-culture of anti-porn has started as kind of an overcorrection, but saying watching porn=cheating just sounds ridiculous to me.
Yeah no he's in denial and honestly she deserves better. If you constantly try to downplay how badly u fucked up like OP does and make sooo mamy excuses he isn't at all remorseful just trying to cover it up. I really hope she learns she deserves better than a man tht would do this bullshit.
Or atleast have the fucking tiniest babyballs to admit he's a POS
“Thanks buttercup!” you'll get some strange looks back but they'll probably stop calling you pet names.
As for being a “brave little trooper”, maybe it's time to get sarcastic at them. “Hey, so do I still get a sticker even though I'm 30? I'm getting real nostalgic for being a kid at the dentist right now.” that kinda communicates the message while also getting you a sticker.
It's not really a life you built together, is it? It certainly doesn't sound like anything other than being f*ck-buddies with financial benefits.
If you want to marry a man that holds your values, then go find that man!! The guy you are currently with will never allow a “joint” house-hold account or anything other than a transactional relationship.
I'm really sorry. This relationship just sounds really bad for you. I think you could be massively successful by yourself without his dead weight. Good luck.