This woman is keeping you down by telling you even your best efforts arent good enough, this is just another one of these plays.
If breaking your back isn't good enough, suggest that she finds someone else, next play in the abuse playbook will be that youre 'giving up on her'.
Her abuse isn't an excuse to treat you awfully, shes just visiting her pain upon you, I think you know you need to move on, shes not in a place where she can love anyone healthily
Haha I like your wife. She’s becoming more independent and caring for herself first and foremost. She knows that you only shut down the idea because she said no very firmly but that deep down you’d jump at it given the chance. I think you’ve permanently fucked up your marriage.
You better start romancing the fuck out of her if you want even a small chance of keeping her. Stop complaining and realize that YOU started this shit storm.
How disgusting and unsanitary. This is something that a child does, not college students. If this goes on much longer someone will notice the smell and report it to the school. I’d like to see her and her roommates explain why they’re keeping a dead crab in their dorm.
My best friend for many years was a rich guy who kept sabotaging his romantic relationships. He eventually ended up marrying a woman whose family was pretty well off, and she was earning more than double the average household income for my city with upward mobility. They had a very bitter divorce 3 years later. From the beginning, she ticked all of his boxes and the relationship was very exciting. One thing that was very important to him is that she didn't need him. She had the money to be elsewhere, but she chose to be with him. As soon as they got married, she stopped contributing, gained a ton of weight and stopped going outside (this was before COVID so that was actually weird), and she fought him over every little thing and somehow ended up with the condo. I guess, yeah, she didn't need him at all, not at the beginning and not at the end. She sold the condo and moved to another state where she got a job offer for something that paid even more.
I don't really know if sharing this will help you, I don't know about your past relationships. I do know my friend was with someone for almost as long who was on SSDI. You might or might not be wondering where they met but you're likely aware that this shit happens. He couldn't drop the idea that he was her lunch ticket. She wanted to be a SAHM. He pushed her away. He also ended up in the hospital a couple weeks after their breakup, and she had gone downstate to stay with family, but took a Greyhound bus back up and stayed with me because she was so torn up over it. She didn't get anything financially out of it. I had to comfort her while she cried on and off the entire time and he wouldn't even see her. Eventually she moved on, she quickly met a guy who earns a bit above average and he jumped on the opportunity to make her a SAHM. But I don't think he really had the same access to women that my friend did and she was beautiful. Still, that was something she was afforded by their breakup.
I'm not friends with him anymore (after a decade) because he wouldn't respect my relationship. He has tried to contact me periodically, more than any of my exes have other than a literal stalker — we were never involved in any capacity. He always thought about his exes. Every single one was the one that got away, in some capacity. He felt that way about a woman he met live who he had never met, even. I don't think about any of my exes like that, or wonder if I made the wrong choice… maybe for a few months after the breakup at most. But I've been with my s/o for 8 years and I don't wonder if I should've stayed with any of them, and I can't imagine wondering that after we were firmly established. I don't think that is normal. I think that may be specific to a pathology that the two of you share — others share it too, of course, but I don't personally know them.
People in your position always come off, at minimum, dysthymic to me. I hope you figure something out that allows you some peace.
I agree with this. Take important stuff with you then have no contact. It never works out well, and even if you do end up being friends further down the line, you need a period of no contact in the middle so you can get over it.
I have a genuine question. Sometimes if I'm sad and crying (tears falling down my face, sniffles) and my boyfriend walks into the room, it's like he doesn't notice. He says hi to me and even tells me about his day and yet he doesn't notice that I'm actively crying even tho it's legit tears running down my face and shoulders shaking, plus a very wobbly voice… Is this the same thing? He looks me straight in the eyes and it doesn't occur to him that I'm crying even if I'm ugly-crying. I can't seem to understand what would prevent someone from noticing that they're talking to a person who is actively sobbing. Or is this different? Should I not expect him to know that I'm in distress even though there are tears streaming down my face?
Your continued reference to the girl's mental health shows that you really have problems, she never cheats on you but drugs etc are causing it.
she doesn't sleep with the whole street, she only sleeps with ex, drugs only encourage her to lie down .?
your relationship is great, you are great, your girlfriend is great,
don't mind cheating
You can distort the facts as much as you want,
This woman is keeping you down by telling you even your best efforts arent good enough, this is just another one of these plays.
If breaking your back isn't good enough, suggest that she finds someone else, next play in the abuse playbook will be that youre 'giving up on her'.
Her abuse isn't an excuse to treat you awfully, shes just visiting her pain upon you, I think you know you need to move on, shes not in a place where she can love anyone healthily
How do you know he isn't hurting them? They can't tell you. The only voice they have is to meow or hiss at things they don't like.
Haha I like your wife. She’s becoming more independent and caring for herself first and foremost. She knows that you only shut down the idea because she said no very firmly but that deep down you’d jump at it given the chance. I think you’ve permanently fucked up your marriage.
You better start romancing the fuck out of her if you want even a small chance of keeping her. Stop complaining and realize that YOU started this shit storm.
How disgusting and unsanitary. This is something that a child does, not college students. If this goes on much longer someone will notice the smell and report it to the school. I’d like to see her and her roommates explain why they’re keeping a dead crab in their dorm.
Do you think he ever would've told you if he knew you wouldn't be “supportive”? Because I sure don't. And I highly doubt this was the first time.
My best friend for many years was a rich guy who kept sabotaging his romantic relationships. He eventually ended up marrying a woman whose family was pretty well off, and she was earning more than double the average household income for my city with upward mobility. They had a very bitter divorce 3 years later. From the beginning, she ticked all of his boxes and the relationship was very exciting. One thing that was very important to him is that she didn't need him. She had the money to be elsewhere, but she chose to be with him. As soon as they got married, she stopped contributing, gained a ton of weight and stopped going outside (this was before COVID so that was actually weird), and she fought him over every little thing and somehow ended up with the condo. I guess, yeah, she didn't need him at all, not at the beginning and not at the end. She sold the condo and moved to another state where she got a job offer for something that paid even more.
I don't really know if sharing this will help you, I don't know about your past relationships. I do know my friend was with someone for almost as long who was on SSDI. You might or might not be wondering where they met but you're likely aware that this shit happens. He couldn't drop the idea that he was her lunch ticket. She wanted to be a SAHM. He pushed her away. He also ended up in the hospital a couple weeks after their breakup, and she had gone downstate to stay with family, but took a Greyhound bus back up and stayed with me because she was so torn up over it. She didn't get anything financially out of it. I had to comfort her while she cried on and off the entire time and he wouldn't even see her. Eventually she moved on, she quickly met a guy who earns a bit above average and he jumped on the opportunity to make her a SAHM. But I don't think he really had the same access to women that my friend did and she was beautiful. Still, that was something she was afforded by their breakup.
I'm not friends with him anymore (after a decade) because he wouldn't respect my relationship. He has tried to contact me periodically, more than any of my exes have other than a literal stalker — we were never involved in any capacity. He always thought about his exes. Every single one was the one that got away, in some capacity. He felt that way about a woman he met live who he had never met, even. I don't think about any of my exes like that, or wonder if I made the wrong choice… maybe for a few months after the breakup at most. But I've been with my s/o for 8 years and I don't wonder if I should've stayed with any of them, and I can't imagine wondering that after we were firmly established. I don't think that is normal. I think that may be specific to a pathology that the two of you share — others share it too, of course, but I don't personally know them.
People in your position always come off, at minimum, dysthymic to me. I hope you figure something out that allows you some peace.
I agree with this. Take important stuff with you then have no contact. It never works out well, and even if you do end up being friends further down the line, you need a period of no contact in the middle so you can get over it.
I have a genuine question. Sometimes if I'm sad and crying (tears falling down my face, sniffles) and my boyfriend walks into the room, it's like he doesn't notice. He says hi to me and even tells me about his day and yet he doesn't notice that I'm actively crying even tho it's legit tears running down my face and shoulders shaking, plus a very wobbly voice… Is this the same thing? He looks me straight in the eyes and it doesn't occur to him that I'm crying even if I'm ugly-crying. I can't seem to understand what would prevent someone from noticing that they're talking to a person who is actively sobbing. Or is this different? Should I not expect him to know that I'm in distress even though there are tears streaming down my face?