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AmyValentine, y.o.
Location: paradise USA United States
Room subject: ? somewhere over the rainbow ?
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Date: October 5, 2022
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u/kat0304, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
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No need to feel guilty.
You absolutely do not have to service a person just because you're dating.
Please don't ever sexually service a person for the sole purpose of keeping him with you. If you have to do that, they're not a good choice of a partner.
Two months of dating isn't actually that long and you aren't required to have sex just because you've been seeing each other for a matter of 8 weeks or so.
You are not ever obliged to have sex when you do not want to have sex.
He's responsible for his own balls and can take care of himself if he's actually hurting.
If you've recently left a high demand religion, you need time to recalibrate, educate yourself, and determine your own sexual ethic. Take that time. If you don't you may end up in some really traumatic situations.
What you need to do now is communicate with him. Communication is a foundational requirement for a healthy relationship. Especially with regard to a healthy sexual relationship. So tell him you're hesitant and that you're afraid your hesitation will make him upset. Thank him for being respectful of your boundaries and not being pushy. Talk about how your relationship might progress towards including sex and what you need in order to feel ready.
I would rather be wondering if you should keep putting your children in this environment rather than making peace with her father
Why would she allow any of this in the first place? Did her father do it behind her back? If the answer is yes, why would she still be in contact with him? He tried his absolute best to get the children away from you, what right does he have?
I understand that your partner is not in her best state of mind right now, whatever the reason may be, but I am not sure if this is something that could even be solved with a simple apology from his part
Thank you, this is really helpful
Due to the fact that I give a ton of advice on here and have seen many situations like this, I can assure you that this would bother a lot of people, but at the end of the day, anecdotes don't matter, because they're not you or your situation.
Personally, if my ex slept with someone after our break up, there would be no what if, because I probably wouldn't know, but I legitimately wouldn't care if I did, because the relationship is over. You're not in a situation where you need to say that it's not an excuse that it happened while partying. Why? Because you don't need to excuse what you did. You're single.
Did you mess up for good? Let's put things into perspective; you had a bad breakup. There's logically issues in the relationship that weren't addressed which led to this breakup. You sleeping around ruins the relationship for good? Whether you slept around or not, if you get back together are the issues now magically gone?