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Anna Shine, 33 y.o.
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Date: October 7, 2022
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This subreddit never ceases to amaze me. So your stance is that OP shouldn’t be mad at her mom for cheating on her dad for years and never telling him. And instead she should be mad at the woman who let her know it happened. Jesus.
You need to apologise to your sister, tell her you know your reaction was wrong and that the current backlash from your parents is all your fault. Own it. Apologise. And be patient while waiting for her to be able to forgive you.
I think it’s just a shock, because reality has finally kicked in that you’re both moving on, but that you’ll ultimately get over it quickly.
Separately, you’re just not thinking logically. You said he treated you poorly. You’re now asking how he could be good to her but not you. They just became official. You have no idea how he is or how he’ll be.
I feel so disrespected and hurt and he tried to just blow it off. I am a really reasonable person and didn’t even get upset at him when he had multiple women stripping in his car. But the fact he lied and his the pictures and then ripped the phone out from my hands definitely makes me believe something is up.
I just don't have anywhere else to go.
Fucking hell. She didn't go MIA, she was disowned because of your backwater religion.
replace “nazi” with “abuser” and there you go. it’s not a “good point.” it’s not a “i see their point.” people are telling you, “this guy is messed up and you not calling him out is telling him that you are completely fine with him acting this way.”
your friend is abusive and a bully. by condoning his actions (by not stopping him like your boyfriend did), you are also a bully.
that is what everyone here is telling you but it’s like you don’t really see it bc he’s “not physically abusive.” wtf? verbal abuse can leave mental and emotional scars that never heal.
DO. BETTER. your bf is the only decent one out of your group. he deserves better as well.
My dilemma is should I just break it off with my gf because I don’t know if I would regret only ever being with one girl in my life. But also why would I break up a perfectly good relationship where I truly see her as the love of my life??
Sounds like a gamble. In the end, does getting some strange sound more fulfilling than living out your life with the person you love? Just know that odds are you'll fall victim to the whole “the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence” thing. From experience, and something I've heard from many others, casual sex is just weird and awkward. Far superior when done with someone that you're 100% comfortable with and knows what you like.
Are there any alternatives like polyamory? And has anyone had similar experiences?
I have never heard of a years long monogamous relationship living through that and very few living past even the mention of it – including one of my own.
But I do agree now that the relationship is over. I made a stupid investment into her when there’s someone out there who actually loves me and wants to be with me.
You know why you're insecure? Why you're so worried now? Because you know just how easily your boyfriend can change his mind and break up with someone… especially with some gentle nudging. You know it didn't take much for him to leave a 7 year relationship. So even if there is absolutely nothing suspicious about the message you saw (WHILE INVADING YOUR BF'S PRIVACY), you are freaking out. And now you're stuck, because there is no way for you to bring it up with your BF without revealing just how invasive you are. You need to do some serious introspection and soul searching here. Be honest with yourself. This is not healthy.
This isn't gaslighting. It is lying and manipulating, but that isn't the same as gaslighting, which is when the abuser tries to make the victim question reality so that they can only trust the abuser. This is more of a standard lying-to-coverup-an-affair situation.