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Anna, 20 y.o.
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Date: October 17, 2022
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Been with my current gf for 3 years. Feel the exact same way :/
Well, for a while, she kept talking about this coworker. Fine. When I asked who it was, she used to say “nobody”.
That's the first thing that triggered “spidey senses”.
It’s called justice sensitivity and it’s a real thing. It’s not necessarily a good thing in many ways—it really hinders your ability to function in society, because it means that any display of injustice towards you or anyone else bothers you heavily.
Most neurotypical people don’t feel this way lol or else the systems we have wouldn’t be in place and there wouldn’t be such an tendency to care so much about following societal norms and an epidemic of victim blaming.
You could've told him that “papers are being served at hime tonight, I'll be out until 10 (or stay somewhere that night).”
Serving him at work likely caused him humiliation and ongoing jokes and drama at work. It's sort of a low blow.
I'm not saying break up…I'm saying re-evaluate the relationship: that can entail therapy, learning to communicate better, setting and respecting boundaries.
It's not a normal reaction for one partner to become so angered by their partner trying to find common ground and learning to appreciate the others interest. It shouldn't degrade into being accused of being a “poser”.