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Date: October 11, 2022
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He mentioned it once if the post is anything to go by, that doesn’t count as an entire conversation unless I’m missing something out
Not personally, no. I'm at a stage where I'm desperate for us to take mutual responsibility for our relationship. I've been doing a lot of work trying to determine how I could fix MYSELF and thus our relationship. My therapist has been trying to convince me that it isn't possible (despite the other therapist I saw and articles I've read) for a relationship to improve when only one person is making changes. So, I've given up on the idea that I can fix things by just being a better person… I can't say I've succeeded in being perfect, but I know I've made strides in being less sarcastic, recognizing my triggers and trauma, and taking space to process (sometimes) rather than react.
Because they're some sort of HAES type nutjob who thinks OP shouldn't be allowed to want his girlfriend to actually be healthy like she used to be.
How is working one on one in a small less intimate than a lucnh? How is getting coffee with a coworker one on one less intimate? You didn't say it but you implied it. Basically any situation that is one on one, can be intimate if you make ithat way.
So are you suggesting to go with what she says until our daughter is born? Genuine question as I am actually trying to get advice.
None, actually.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
Yesterday, we were placing an order over his phone and he said that he'll take a shower by the time food arrives. He left his phone with me as I was making the payment from my card.
Soon after he went to shower, there was a silent notification on his phone and it was red heart and it was from someone who he had met on tinder 3 years ago and he'd told me they no longer were in contact with.
I know it was wrong of me to check his phone and i wish I hadn't, but my curiosity got the best of me and ended up opening his WhatsApp.
He has an “Archives” section and i found multiple women in there. I realised all of the chats were in fact very recent (last week).I scrolled up to find unending texts dating back to last year so idk how long it's been on. I went through a few of them and there were sexts and partial nudes.
What made it worse is, i found his ex among them who I've hated the most because she used to gaslight and manipulate him.
We've been together for 3 years including 1 year of on-line in. I moved across the globe while facing so so much to be here. Having had a severly abusive relationship previously, taking this step had taken me everything to be here.
But here's the thing, i feel numb. Idk what to do. I don't know how I'm feeling. I know how I feel mentally – shattered and hurting. But for some reason I feel numb. I was supposed to see a therapist but haven't been able to due to lack of money and time.
Idk what to do. It's complicated. I have my finals on going now. Due to housing and financial problems, i can't move out too.
I just feel lost yet numb and defeated.