She says mean things like “I am tired of this” “i am tired of you accusing me of cheating” with the same coworker that always ONLY ask her to go with him to drop off a student & goes thru drive thru for coffee after & no other signs of cheating tho.
So he says he’ll make it up to you – how? How will he make that better…by getting more discreet and better at lying. Prepare yourself…everything points to a serial cheater who’s using you as a cover up
This post reads very bias and shows me that the problem seems to be you.
When we used to fight, he would reassure me and apologize (if it was his fault)
So he's a good guy , I hope you did the same.
The past few months, I feel like he’s changed. While fighting, he yells at me and just seems overall like he’s trying to put me down if we’re not seeing eye to eye. He just took a job in a different city 4 hours away so we’ve been in the midst of moving and dealing with all of that. I personally didn’t think this was worth it, he’s not making much more money and it’s costing us to move there when we’re already financially strapped but he said it was good experience and what he really wanted to do
Okay so your husband gets a Job he really wants and is the experience he needs and instead of supporting him like a good partner , your reaction is ” HES NOT MAKING MUCH MORE MONEY ” . I'm not surprised you guys are fighting more , he has a wife that doesn't support him or cares about he's career.
brought up several other things we’ve previously fought about then told me to leave him alone and when I followed to ask if he was still coming to my family’s Christmas, he freaked out
So you made the mistake of not paying the power did you ” apologise and reassure him ” and when he told you to leave him alone and you decided you will follow him and keep questioning him that shows you don't care about he's emotions.
I was in a toxic relationship before this one (age 16-20) and I told myself I would never beg for a guy again.
And here you are again. But you are the toxic one here. You don't care about your husbands emotions or support him. Your declaration to ” never beg for a guy again ” has made you combative now instead of never begging for a guy you don't seem to care about your own husband.
Please tell me what to do I need some unbiased advice
You need to be the one to apologise and reassure him here. You need to tell him you haven't been thinking about him and supporting him. That you need to make that change. Tell him that you don't want to fight so much and you want to communicate better with him so in the future you can be a supportive partner.
Then hope to hell you didn't push this man too far , and that he will give he's wife another chance.
Be honest, be yourself, have fun and make sure to not lose yourself in the relationship. If you don't feel comfortable, trust your gut. Don't exchange nudes. Don't set unreasonable expectations.
Thanks a lot 🙂 also just wanted to tell you that i met a couple girls who are friends of friends who do use insta and they really were shallow and just aweful. Since those were my first real experience with insta girls i alwasy saw it in a bad light and she was one of the girls who wasn't on it and was at home studying, helping her family and we were watching disney movies early on. So that's why i percive her as a great loss. I do have some guy friends whos gf's are on insta but only post about their interests or funny things and no shallow things or anything. Also because of that i never thought of her she would breakup let alone cheat. Break ups are hard man but something i think i could have handled, especially with the possibility of becoming friends and helping each other through the breakup (being open to questions, getting things done that we forgot about or being able to speak to eachother if it's important for us.) but cheating and treating me like this is just…i don't know how to handle it honestly :/ Just wanted to tell you this 🙂 FYI style . Thanks for the answers and all.
You can’t make her understand. People find it easier to continue the way they are than they do to change, eventually it comes to catch up with them, that is why you literally see people smoking wheeling around oxygen tanks. She has to want to make changes, you can’t do it for her, but if she does, support her as much as you can.
But YOU should have walked away over his behaviour instead of waiting for the trash to take itself out. You deserve better than this. Learn to acknowledge and deal with the red flags or they will rule you
chance definitely exists (things can happen out of your control that are simply by chance) – but good decision making can put you in a position to increase the chances of that good thing happening. the same thing goes for bad things.
hate to say this – but your bf probably makes a great deal of poor decisions that culminate in what might be seen as bad luck. i've dated people like this – i couldn't do it. became pretty obvious to me that all the bad shit happening to them wasn't some mysterious force causing them to have a bad time – it was them making numerous bad decisions every day (as minor as they may have been).
You can either learn to be OK with this and stay with him or move on. It would be unreasonable to make him make better decisions – clearly that's who he is.
You should know what your dating goal is.
Whether he qualifies for that goal is a separate question.
She says mean things like “I am tired of this” “i am tired of you accusing me of cheating” with the same coworker that always ONLY ask her to go with him to drop off a student & goes thru drive thru for coffee after & no other signs of cheating tho.
So he says he’ll make it up to you – how? How will he make that better…by getting more discreet and better at lying. Prepare yourself…everything points to a serial cheater who’s using you as a cover up
This post reads very bias and shows me that the problem seems to be you.
When we used to fight, he would reassure me and apologize (if it was his fault)
So he's a good guy , I hope you did the same.
The past few months, I feel like he’s changed. While fighting, he yells at me and just seems overall like he’s trying to put me down if we’re not seeing eye to eye. He just took a job in a different city 4 hours away so we’ve been in the midst of moving and dealing with all of that. I personally didn’t think this was worth it, he’s not making much more money and it’s costing us to move there when we’re already financially strapped but he said it was good experience and what he really wanted to do
Okay so your husband gets a Job he really wants and is the experience he needs and instead of supporting him like a good partner , your reaction is ” HES NOT MAKING MUCH MORE MONEY ” . I'm not surprised you guys are fighting more , he has a wife that doesn't support him or cares about he's career.
brought up several other things we’ve previously fought about then told me to leave him alone and when I followed to ask if he was still coming to my family’s Christmas, he freaked out
So you made the mistake of not paying the power did you ” apologise and reassure him ” and when he told you to leave him alone and you decided you will follow him and keep questioning him that shows you don't care about he's emotions.
I was in a toxic relationship before this one (age 16-20) and I told myself I would never beg for a guy again.
And here you are again. But you are the toxic one here. You don't care about your husbands emotions or support him. Your declaration to ” never beg for a guy again ” has made you combative now instead of never begging for a guy you don't seem to care about your own husband.
Please tell me what to do I need some unbiased advice
You need to be the one to apologise and reassure him here. You need to tell him you haven't been thinking about him and supporting him. That you need to make that change. Tell him that you don't want to fight so much and you want to communicate better with him so in the future you can be a supportive partner.
Then hope to hell you didn't push this man too far , and that he will give he's wife another chance.
Let it go man. No need to re-open that wound. The best way to apologize is by leaving her in the past. Let the girl heal.
He was 20, he chased me. I’m still at school and he owns a business.
Be honest, be yourself, have fun and make sure to not lose yourself in the relationship. If you don't feel comfortable, trust your gut. Don't exchange nudes. Don't set unreasonable expectations.
Time will turn this into resentment. Why would you get into a relationship with someone who’s wants are so misaligned with your own?
Thanks a lot 🙂 also just wanted to tell you that i met a couple girls who are friends of friends who do use insta and they really were shallow and just aweful. Since those were my first real experience with insta girls i alwasy saw it in a bad light and she was one of the girls who wasn't on it and was at home studying, helping her family and we were watching disney movies early on. So that's why i percive her as a great loss. I do have some guy friends whos gf's are on insta but only post about their interests or funny things and no shallow things or anything. Also because of that i never thought of her she would breakup let alone cheat. Break ups are hard man but something i think i could have handled, especially with the possibility of becoming friends and helping each other through the breakup (being open to questions, getting things done that we forgot about or being able to speak to eachother if it's important for us.) but cheating and treating me like this is just…i don't know how to handle it honestly :/ Just wanted to tell you this 🙂 FYI style . Thanks for the answers and all.
Oh, and no, I didn't say you're not committed. But if you're doing the same as OP's husband and hiding it from your partner, you're a sleazebag.
You can’t make her understand. People find it easier to continue the way they are than they do to change, eventually it comes to catch up with them, that is why you literally see people smoking wheeling around oxygen tanks. She has to want to make changes, you can’t do it for her, but if she does, support her as much as you can.
But YOU should have walked away over his behaviour instead of waiting for the trash to take itself out. You deserve better than this. Learn to acknowledge and deal with the red flags or they will rule you
Stay away from LOVE BOMBERS!
luck doesn't really exist.
chance definitely exists (things can happen out of your control that are simply by chance) – but good decision making can put you in a position to increase the chances of that good thing happening. the same thing goes for bad things.
hate to say this – but your bf probably makes a great deal of poor decisions that culminate in what might be seen as bad luck. i've dated people like this – i couldn't do it. became pretty obvious to me that all the bad shit happening to them wasn't some mysterious force causing them to have a bad time – it was them making numerous bad decisions every day (as minor as they may have been).
You can either learn to be OK with this and stay with him or move on. It would be unreasonable to make him make better decisions – clearly that's who he is.
Makes sense. I am in therapy and have been for a year and a half! And do tons of self help stuff!