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  1. I would mail the pastor back and tell him you’ve always been intimate and feel the closest to god when you’re experiencing coitus

    I’d also sprinkle in something about how you feel god is a woman and gave us free will and you feel no guilt in exercising it. Then maybe conclude with a sci fi religious quote like “so say we all”

    Your feelings are valid af and since you never had to set boundaries before you might have to have a super serial conversation. With your fiancé that is something like “I don’t know why you’re suddenly this religious, but I am going to set boundaries since things have changed. Here are non negotiables for me: I don’t obey my husband, this is patriarchal bullshit etc” and explain your fears

    I’m not religious at all and would feel so Fucking violated if some pastor tried to tell me any of that fucked up stuff

  2. I would like to know if you would have felt more comfortable during that argument if he had a gun.. if the answer is “hell no,” then your answer is get away now.. it's not that hard to find or buy a gun even without a license, so if he really wants one.. he could probably get one, meaning the next time he behaves like that towards you, he may have access to a gun

  3. That's a huge breach of trust by lying by omission at the least. I would certainly have to rethink the relationship. What's his plan to pay the debt off? Is he assuming your combined incomes will be used?

  4. So, you’ve given him zero reasons why he shouldn’t trust you. This isn’t about a boundary, this is about control. If you had the habit of getting black out drunk and putting yourself into dangerous situations when you go to bars, I would say he’s just looking out for you, but that’s not the case here. Tell him that going out with your friends and that you’re implementing a new boundary for yourself that you won’t tolerate being with someone who tries to control you. Go out, have fun, be safe!

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