One thing you can take off that pile: you were not a fool for behaving with integrity even when she didn’t. You were honorable. You were not gullible for choosing to do the right thing when presented with an opportunity not to. Doing the same as she did would put you in her category, and you don’t want to be that.
Yo – I fell in love at first sight with mine – I am JUST NOW emerging from 3 years of putting up with some serious bullshit at the expense of my self respect. It’s like my life was on pause and I am just now hitting resume.
He is a wonderful person. I love him dearly and desperately. We are in very different places in life.
I don’t think he wanted our relationship to be abusive. But he doesn’t have the emotional tools to have calm adult conversations about hot things.
For the first year and a half we would fight any time I would disagree with him (among other things) and I would beg him “can we not have different opinions?”
Don’t do this to yourself. You are here asking – because you know something isn’t right. EVEN THO IT FEELS AWESOME RIGHT NOW.
You just got out of a terrible situation.
Your ex – You had put a mask on his face and then his true self came out. You are doing the same thing here. This new man has the same mask you put on him. And you’ll keep that mask with you, and you’ll put it on the next man you meet if you’re not careful.
I completely agree with this.
One thing you can take off that pile: you were not a fool for behaving with integrity even when she didn’t. You were honorable. You were not gullible for choosing to do the right thing when presented with an opportunity not to. Doing the same as she did would put you in her category, and you don’t want to be that.
Honestly she’s right, this is how most people end up in 10 year relationships miserable with someone who doesn’t even want to marry you
Yo – I fell in love at first sight with mine – I am JUST NOW emerging from 3 years of putting up with some serious bullshit at the expense of my self respect. It’s like my life was on pause and I am just now hitting resume.
He is a wonderful person. I love him dearly and desperately. We are in very different places in life.
I don’t think he wanted our relationship to be abusive. But he doesn’t have the emotional tools to have calm adult conversations about hot things.
For the first year and a half we would fight any time I would disagree with him (among other things) and I would beg him “can we not have different opinions?”
Don’t do this to yourself. You are here asking – because you know something isn’t right. EVEN THO IT FEELS AWESOME RIGHT NOW.
You just got out of a terrible situation.
Your ex – You had put a mask on his face and then his true self came out. You are doing the same thing here. This new man has the same mask you put on him. And you’ll keep that mask with you, and you’ll put it on the next man you meet if you’re not careful.