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Aya, 20 y.o.
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Date: March 29, 2023
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You answered your own question in that there's simply no future here for you.
Do you really want to marry someone who would weaponize your trauma and use it to establish something based on their insecurities?
It's quite frankly very fucked up and telling of who he is as a person and you need to listen to that. Many people ignore signs that it's just not going to work long term and it sounds like you dont want to accept that yet. It's understandable, it's scary.
You were afraid to tell him because of your past and now what's worse is he's literally trying to use it against you in the way. You've worked to very hot to overcome that on your own to be ruined by this guy. I'm sorry because you probably feel like he's the one but he's proving to you he's not.
Again I'm not sure why you'd still want to be with him after this. But the conversation that needs to happen and needs to be said is one where you hold him accountable for this quite frankly disgusting appalling ultimatum. Where you just tell him you don't want to be married to someone who would weaponize your trauma. Point blank. There isn't much else to discuss. Especially since he has no problem telling you that you two will talk only if you change your mind. Stop ignoring the signs. Face it head on and with pride. It'll help you deal with it better.
You are young. You are engaged young. You don't want to be divorced young.
You’re planning how you will get around all these obstacles in the future and do whatever’s necessary to make it work…and you’re not even together at the moment? You’re coming across kinda pushy. I get that you like her a lot, but I would take her at her word that she doesn’t feel ready to date.