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BadBabyGirls, 30 y.o.
Location: United States
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Live Live Sex Chat rooms BadBabyGirls
Date: January 7, 2023
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Monitoring someone’s search history is controlling which is, in fact, a sign of abusive behavior.
Bills being paid and food on the table is all good, but whose money are you putting into this “passion project“? Just yours? Did you agree to save a certain amount together (for a car/vacation/house/wedding?) and you’re using “your” money for the project while leaving her to foot the bill for the big ticket item/s? Is you passion project some stupid “investment” bullshit like NFTs? Financial control is a sign of abuse.
If you’re talking about FetLife, it’s not strictly for meeting people. It’s social media for people into that sort of thing. It’s possible someone sent her a blog link or something. If it was strictly a dating site, again – she may have been checking for an account you made. Or looking up old flings. Doesn’t mean she wants to contact them. Sometimes I look up one of my old boyfriends just to see what they’re doing. Mostly to laugh. But my husband isn’t an insecure douche, so I will often share with him the funniest bits.
Because being accused of being a pedophile of you're not can seriously naked your reputation, your livelihood, or even your physical safety. It's a very serious thing to be accused of. He doesn't seem like he's thinking very deeply about it and if he knew that this conversation was triggering for you then maybe he would adjust the way he approaches you.
We just have the one kid and he's one. We tag team all the chores pretty well after dinner so there's usually not much to do once he is in bed at 7. I frequently offer to do most of the nightly chores, especially when I can tell she's tired.
You definitely need to focus on your relationship and the good parts of it. It's easy to think the grass is greener elsewhere, but it's greenest where you water it.
Take care of the relationship you have. Date your husband. Go out, get dressed up and flirt with each other. Have him pick you up from the bar and vice versa. Treat yourself to a romantic getaway, even if it's in your own hometown. Just plan ahead.
As for how to tell your husband, just rip off the band aid. He will likely be hurt. But the truth is the only way to move past this. Hiding it is only going to make it worse.
If all it took was a couple of drinks and a charismatic stranger, then I refuse to trust that she won't do it again.
I actually agree with most of that – I don't think it's outrageous that OP would have questions about those things. *But* if there is in fact nothing there, then the husband is well within reason to be offended/annoyed by the implication.
And, the OP keeps saying they did not at all imply infidelity and that they hadn't thought of it at all… I do not buy that. Virtually everyone who read the original post immediately saw the question about the perfume in the bedroom as being, if not a direct accusation, very much a preamble to an accusation and it's not a huge shock or necessarily a sign of a guilty conscious to me that the husband saw it the same way. Clearly OP has complained about this woman before, and was irked by not being aware of the workout situation.
Lol ok. You know people who play chess are into memorizing moves like this, right? There are tons of chess players who can recite every move in specific games.
I think you just need to step back and not try to scrutinize the little info we have from the post and make it seem like OP is a psycho for trying to figure out why his wife is being manipulative and gaslighting him.
“I’m falling in love with you” lol. It’s not an actual key it’s the “key to my heart” for a necklace I guess
He does have a porn addiction. So long as he doesn’t think that’s what it is, nothing is going to ja he in your relationship.
In the state where I live!, the law punishes the main breadwinner who puts their income into assets in favor of the spendthrift who holds money in their hands like water, regardless of gender. And the fact of abuse made no difference either.
I had to buy him a fucking car in order to keep my house that he’d not paid a dime towards. Thank God we didn’t have kids.
Wisdom teeth removal is not that dramatic
Hate to break it to you, but from what you described, your relationship is not ok.
First of all, STOP TAKING ALL THE BLAME. You are who you are and any relationship worth its weight, especially with a life partner, would try to understand you and be cognizant of YOUR EMOTIONAL NEEDS. We are all adults and responsible for our actions, you are taking ownership of your emotions and actions, is he?
My husband and I have “loud discussions” and are also yellers. This is in our nature (we say that we are passionate about our lives.) That being said, yelling only happens when we seriously disagree, and loud discussions happen when we are frustrated.
However, we approach all disagreement with the idea to seek to understand. We always give ourselves a time-out to process the issue and talk about it so there is a solution that we both feel comfortable with. There are also lines that we don't cross. We don't call each other names, or attack each other's shortcomings. We keep it on the subject at hand and don't bring up the past. We fight, but it is productive. DH and I went through a very rough period a few years ago, and honestly, if these ground rules had not been set, we would have not survived. Now, we still fight, but not very often.
My father was a yeller, but he came to it from a controlling viewpoint. What triggered it depended on his mood. It was hell growing up. He would only apologize when he was called out in a drastic way (I was NC with him for 3 years.)
Fighting and yelling are symptoms of something greater. Do you know what they are, and are you willing to put up with them? Are you, as a couple, willing to do the work to make your lives more peaceful? I never used to be confrontational as my past trauma trained me to be passive. However, it was different with my DH. Do you know why? Because for the first time in my life, I felt comfortable with myself and a relationship that I felt safe to fight. It may seem counterintuitive, but it's true. You have to feel safe to truly express yourself. Do you feel that way? if not, can you get there? If not, then it may be time to reconsider the relationship.
Well said. I can picture you having to “fight her fights” in the future because she can't control herself
I wouldn't necessarily expect to get paid since he's still building the business, but the fact that he doesn't even show you basic respect to get you the fan as well and dinner afterward each night is crazy to me. I would do it for free if I felt respected and loved and appreciated by the person I was doing it for. But you really stop wanting to help them build their dream when they can't give you basic consideration.
I’m really just wanting nude sex, nothing serious