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barbysweet, 25 y.o.
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Date: October 31, 2022
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You know the answer. Forget him. x
Leave it be. You both have different values and clearly she wants to be surrounded by people that have the same political views as her.
I'm going to hazard a guess and say that the bill you're referencing most likely hits pretty close to home for your friend so it makes sense that she's unable to feel impartial about this particular issue. I'm the same way when it comes to abortion laws. It's uncomfortable and can also be fairly traumatic to hear a side that so blatantly goes against your core values and beliefs.
She's cut contact for a reason and I wouldn't try to reach out any further. She doesn't see you in a good light and I can't imagine trying to continue that conversation going anywhere good.
It's totally cool to have different plans for the future, but it's important to have a convo about it so you're on the same page. From the sounds of it, it seems like he's ready for marriage and you're not. You've gotta be honest with yourself and him about where you're at.
It's not fair to either of you if you're not on the same page. If you're not ready for marriage, that's totally okay, but you need to be honest with him about that. And he needs to be understanding of where you're at. He's right that a lot can change in a year, but at the same time, you can't just put your life on hold for him. You gotta think about yourself and what you want too.
It sounds like you're feeling guilty and like you're wasting his time, but that's not fair to you. You're allowed to have your own plans and goals. If you're not ready for marriage, that's not something you should feel guilty about. You have to make decisions that are right for you.
It's important to have open communication about all this. You guys need to talk it through and see if you can find a compromise or a way to move forward that works for both of you. But if you're not ready for marriage and you don't think you will be in the near future, then it's important to be honest with him about that. Don't lead him on if you're not sure about your feelings.
It's not easy but you have to think what's best for you and your happiness.
If you stood up for yourself why would you want another person to do the same?
You're clearly not okay with and it wasn't a good idea for you two to do this
I had someone do this to me. I went to a club with friends and someone called my boyfriend saying I was making out with all these men. I was sober and dancing with a girl friend. When a guy tried to dance provocatively with me I stopped it… it was a weird night. My boyfriend spoke to me and it was a horrible conversation, but it was a conversation. We were together for 3 more years. He did a lot wrong, but talking to me was not one of them. Strangers sometimes try to break up relationships and lie. This person’s anxiety is wrecking them and they do not believe their partner cheated. So they need to communicate.
I’d say no but you did tell her a bunch of times you would. That’s the only reason you could justify wanting to give her the money. But my opinion is block her and move on. Idk why you haven’t blocked her yet honestly. Sounds like her involvement is toxic for your life and you’re better off without her.
E x a c t l y
You found the phrasing I couldn’t.
Can you imagine someone gets fired from work after being there for a few months. They threaten to kill themselves if they don't get hired back, do you think that company would take them back?
Get this woman out of your life and don't look back. You're too young to deal with this kind of bullshit.
Honestly? You can probably ghost him.
Or you can lie and make it seem like you’re really just thinking about his needs, such as; “Hey, what you said the other day got me thinking. I’m happy with the situationship we have at the moment because my life is pretty busy, but I’m now understanding that you’re not. I don’t want to waste anymore of your time if what you want is marriage and kids, and I certainly don’t want to waste the time you could be spending finding someone to do all that with you. Maybe we should call it quits so you can go and find someone else who wants the same things that you want?”
You can lie. It’s okay. It doesn’t have to be about you, it can be entirely about him and you ‘realising’ that you’re just not going to be good enough for what he wants and needs, and he should find someone else. That makes him think he is better than you and his ego won’t take a hit so he’s less likely to come after you, because you’re clearly just thinking about what he wants.
Once he’s decided you are a waste of his time and he breaks up with you, block him. Just absolutely yoink yourself out of his life.