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Bella, 23 y.o.
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Date: October 5, 2022
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See a psychotherapist to help you learn to manage your disordered anxieties.
There is nothing even slightly suspicious about any of this. Your text message didn't get a response because there was nothing to respond to (sure, he could have texted “love you” back, but if you feel like you need validation every single time, that's something else to talk to your therapist about), coworkers frequently have each other's contact info, and getting caught up chatting when one expects to leave a party soon happens all the time.
It's great you want to be healthy, but your husband's role ATM is unhealthy for both of you. It creates a power imbalance, and makes his love appear conditional.
Your husband should seek therapy for his trauma, so it isn't impacting his relationships, as that isn't healthy for him either.
Have you looked into getting a personal trainer at a local gym? They are great resources for how to get over peaks and how to adjust your diet to support your workout in ways where you'll see good progress. Your PT can even help provide progress information that's objective and informed for you that you can share with your husband.
During your time it maybe have been easier to go to school instead of work but nowadays everything costs more so it’s not viable for a young person to solely focus on school. Let her do what she wants. You’re not her dad, although you could be.
“I’m sorry. I was completely wrong and I will NEVER go near your father ever again.” That’s your only choice.
You're focused on your fiance's reaction but not your own actions and issues. You've put your husband into a position to console you when it should be the other way around.
Why do you feel the need to drink to a point your get so drunk you cheat? With a 6 months old in the picture.
Speak with you doctor. Or a therapist that is more familiar with PPD. Get to the root of your own issues instead of focusing on your fiance's reaction to your actions.
I don’t expect anything. I am selfish. I am working on it. I am leaving her alone at this point.
Dip. I had an ex who kept reaching out for years. It would have hurt me if i wanted to salvage this relationship; but it would have hurt me as well by wasting my tike and energy even if i wanted to move on. Nothing to be gained by being in touch w your ex.