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Date: October 5, 2022
JFC. Stuff like this is so frustrating. A good friend of mine got into an abusive relationship about 10 years ago and the dude was truly nuts. The cops would say similar things to her as they said to you, or they'd say they couldn't do anything until he did something that could be proven.
Well, he choked her out one night and there was physical proof, so he was arrested and locked up. He had a criminal record for violent behavior (which she didn't know about when they started dating) and got all of 3 months for what he did to her.
I've also known a number of divorced women who were so afraid of their exes that they wouldn't ever ask for child support adjustments, even though they were being paid at rates that were man years out of date.
It's been a wakeup call to learn how little our society protects women (and children).
I'd take what she's saying at face value. She's into you, but not enough for the opportunity cost of being able to date locally.
Trust me, a crummy relationship (barring abuse or whatever) is better than a good long distance relationship.
Maybe life ends up with you two being closer in the future, but long distance is a crummy premise for a relationship. It exacerbates the negative parts of a relationship and minimizes the positive. They should be used as a stopgap measure for people who are already committed until they can get closer again.
Find something closer, and maybe stuff works out down the line with her; however, I wouldn't try being friends when your romantic feelings are there. You'll get hung up on her and nobody benefits from that.
Since it sounds like friends paid for everything major in the wedding/reception/honeymoon, you need to be hanging out with those people and leaving this shitshow behind.
Your fiance's brother doesn't want his brother to marry you, and is coming up with reasons to interrupt the wedding like he has done for all of your alone time with him. You will never have peace with just your fiancee.
And you trusted your instincts and you were right!! Sorry this happened but good for you for listening to your instincts.
Same guy. Wrong age I guess. Hell be getting out of the military in 3 years and moving back home. And the one previous to that, we had already been broken up in December, but were working through things in January.
I think y'all need to sit down and discuss what you both want your sex life to look like given the current situation. Who initiates, when, what acts are on the table as an option, etc. And emphasize what you said here that you want to be with her but you aren't sure what she wants.
I have a bunch of problems that are not conducive to sex and I initiate on good days. But also good days are/were limited and there's other stuff I want to do in my life besides have sex. It's not necessarily that you don't prioritize sex, it's that you have to sacrifice stuff you really want to do constantly so the way you think about it is very different than healthy people who can do whatever on a whim.
Over time I have found things to help with my medical shit, but I don't think I will ever be 100% and have the sex life of a couple with 2 healthy people. I don't know your partners issues but it's pretty unlikely that someone dealing with chronic stuff is going to get to a point where they are 100% functional forever. Even if you find medication that works perfectly now things ebb and flow, especially with mental health. And even if you are super improved, your mindset doesn't change over night when you've spent years of your life living around your issues.
I don't think you should throw initiating out the window forever. You both just need to discuss the situation FREQUENTLY as things change. And don't approach it as “I wish we had more sex” approach it as “what can we do to have the best sex life possible for both of us right now”
They've been dating for 4 years and it appears the videos are 6-8 months old. He's definitely a moron.
If you really want to say something, ask if he would be fine with you also sleeping with other people while he does. I'm sure he will then understand.