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Bigboy21, 24 y.o.
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Date: October 26, 2022
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Wanting to get married and wanting to be married to a specific person are two different things. Give yourself time and pay attention to your feelings- I bet there are reasons why you go back and forth.
And yeah, people know but even they sometimes get it wrong, so being unsure is a huge sign that right now, he isn’t the one.
It is a red flag for sure. It is possible he may not escalate too much in your lifetime, but that is not something sane people like to roll the dice with
I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling so confused and hurt. It sounds like you have been through a lot and it's understandable that you would be feeling this way. It's important to communicate your feelings and it sounds like you tried to do that. It's also important to respect each other's boundaries and it sounds like he has not been doing that. It's important to be honest and open with each other in order for a relationship to work. I hope you can find a way to communicate with him and come to an understanding that works for both of you.
It’s early and he sounds like not a great match for you.
You said substance abuse is a deal breaker. And there he is, having 6.5 drinks, by himself, on a work night, in 2.5 hours.
I would tell him once- I’m not comfortable with this level of drinking. And if he does it again, move on.
Okay well they’re exact wording is like “come on man, I really don’t want to be fighting all day” which sounds pretty harsh and dismissive when you hear it 🙁
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Nope the hell away from that person immediately.
“Waiting on a wire transfer” screams scam.
Why did you plan to have a baby when your relationship was a toxic dumpster fire?
I’m wondering if hormonal birth control is problematic for her and she wants condoms but he doesn’t? The big problem I see is if condom breaks it doesn’t sound like plan b is an option here.
Thank you for the advice and the links, I read the articles. This makes sense. I never ever interupt him even if I don’t agree/don’t like what he’s saying, nor do I eye roll. It’s extremelly disrespectful to me and it makes me feel like what I have to say is not as important as what he has to say. I’ll talk to him about what you recommended, I think having a neutral person there will be helpful.
She's disproportionately popular with cheaters. Of the people I know that have actually liked her more than half were cheaters
He's completely wrong for hiding it from you. He either lied because you'd react with suspicion and jealousy which would've forced him to cancel. Or he lied because he's cheating.
“A couple days later, he was on his work laptop and I saw his calendar said that only one of these women would be in town- a mildly attractive one around my age who he’s mentioned before.”
“What’s funny is I wouldn’t have even been upset if I knew it was just them alone.”
he was cheating on me with my sister
So, it takes 2 to tango. Your sister should be held higher on that shit list your ex is also on. I'd personally uninvite, if you have security for your wedding or someone in charge of unwelcome guests let them know they're not to be there. I'd also go no contact with your sister. How and why are you still even in contact? What she did is not excusable and pretty shitty.