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Blue, 99 y.o.
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Date: October 18, 2022
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You are leaving the nest. In a few years it will probably get better.
Oh. If you can tally your yearly dinner expenditures, then you are a cheapo. And that's not a terrible thing. Pinching pennies is a key part of financial success. But you are nuts if you think you can explain this to your wife in a way that won't make you look like an asshat.
Does your spreadsheet include everything she does for you that's NOT monetary?
You know, as a man, putting the roof over head and paying for meals isn't praiseworthy, it's really just obligatory. Where were you raised? How do you not know this?
We aren't in her head, we can't tell why she's doing this. It does sounds like a volatile situation regardless of the reason.
If you're in talking terms, you should ask her directly. If you aren't, do you have any way to block her from moving in with you?
Tell her she isn't slick and he gets to pay 1/3 of the rent or go book a hotel room.
Most college housing has specific rules against this type of sponging.
If you stay, you deserve any pain and heartache from that decision forward.
Admit that you messed up. Don't be defensive or make excuses. Be honest about why you acted how you did, and tell her what you're going to do differently next time.
What word you use to describe what he did is less important than how you feel about it. Clearly he broke trust, intended to have a physical relationship with another woman, actively lied to you about doing so, and did have intimate interactions with her which were clearly inappropriate.
If he doesn't take full responsibility for what he did AND the initiative to fix it by changing HIS own behavior (neither of which he's doing, as he's diverting attention from his actions by arguing technicalities of the definition of a word “cheating”), then… is that really someone you want to build a life with and can trust? What if next time he doesn't FEEL quite so guilty, and either goes through with things or doesn't tell you?
Either he finds a therapist for him +- both of you, or you give him the gift of singlehood
Reason why I'm currently not working. My husband told me I wasn't looking for a higher paying job fast enough while I was in a job that mistreated me and paid me 9$ and paid someone who came to work there after me with the same skills 1$ more and refused to give me a raise. They also talked to me like I was stupid because I'm autistic and when I put my 2 weeks in tried to tell my husband I was going mental because I put my 2 weeks in. Today's job market seems to be very hot to find a job I've been jobless almost 2 months with many applications in but no one seems to walk to hire a disabled person who needs special care at a job.
Even if she doesn't work though the gaslighting and her not doing anything to help him around the house like chores is kinda bad. I know I've been doing alot of the chores since I don't work since I've been jobless.
Me and my girlfriend with regularly have sex multiple times a day, to the point where she’s raw and I can feel the extra heat. I feel bad for her but she really wants it ?
OP, it sounds like to me that she doesn't WANT you to get over her, she wants another “hanger on”. IMO