Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
Why don’t you bring your boyfriend along so he can meet your friend. Has he met him? I have plenty of guy friends but my BF is always invited to come and has met everyone.
If you haven’t introduced him to your boyfriend that just sounds weird to me? Wouldn’t a really friend want to meet your partner?
Oof. You messed up. 1. Don’t ever question her sexuality. If she’s identified as bisexual, that’s exactly what she is. It doesn’t matter how many men she sleeps with vs women, and as a bisexual, I can tell you: we face rampant judgment from the gay community when dating. Many, many women who identify as lesbian won’t even consider dating a bisexual. It’s not as easy developing a connection as you might think.
If you wanted to open the relationship and expected her to only date or mostly date women, you should have set that ground rule from the jump. It’s not her fault you’re now having regrets because she’s been with men.
Inviting other sexual and romantic partners into a relationship as a cure-all for varying sex drives seems like a pitfall. Instead of working on your relationship’s issues, you’ve literally invited countless issues into your relationship.
Sounds like you naked sold your wife on it instead of accepting her initial answer. I’d be SHOCKED if she wasn’t resentful about the whole thing.
I really wish you could time travel and undo this mess and figure out a way to make your relationship work with one another, but I feel like you’ve crossed lines now you’ll never be able to cross back. Sorry, just seems like unless you have a bond to survive the ages (and it doesn’t sound like you do), I just don’t see this working out in anyone’s favor.
Right? Also, the physical part is a huge betrayal, obviously, but it's almost beside the point if they were close enough to move in together after a month
There are so many comments with a variation on “this is why you shouldn't wait until marriage” and making remarks about purity culture, etc… but it's completely and utterly irrelevant here.
She knew she wasn't sexually attracted to him before the marriage took place, but let it continue. If she had been honest in how she felt the mess could've been avoided.
I wasn't trying to do a “gotcha!” I was just generally curious. That's rough, I'm not going to defend those men, shitty thing to do. Thank you for the sources!
It sounds like they're going to cause drama no matter what you do. So focus on what is best for you. If you feel more secure telling them when you are a bit farther along, then wait until you're ready. If you want to get it out of the way early, then send them a text and ignore any negative responses.
Hello /u/My_name_isnt_alex,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
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[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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Why don’t you bring your boyfriend along so he can meet your friend. Has he met him? I have plenty of guy friends but my BF is always invited to come and has met everyone.
If you haven’t introduced him to your boyfriend that just sounds weird to me? Wouldn’t a really friend want to meet your partner?
That could end up with them both paying child support, but does not necessarily exempt OP.
Oof. You messed up. 1. Don’t ever question her sexuality. If she’s identified as bisexual, that’s exactly what she is. It doesn’t matter how many men she sleeps with vs women, and as a bisexual, I can tell you: we face rampant judgment from the gay community when dating. Many, many women who identify as lesbian won’t even consider dating a bisexual. It’s not as easy developing a connection as you might think.
If you wanted to open the relationship and expected her to only date or mostly date women, you should have set that ground rule from the jump. It’s not her fault you’re now having regrets because she’s been with men.
Inviting other sexual and romantic partners into a relationship as a cure-all for varying sex drives seems like a pitfall. Instead of working on your relationship’s issues, you’ve literally invited countless issues into your relationship.
Sounds like you naked sold your wife on it instead of accepting her initial answer. I’d be SHOCKED if she wasn’t resentful about the whole thing.
I really wish you could time travel and undo this mess and figure out a way to make your relationship work with one another, but I feel like you’ve crossed lines now you’ll never be able to cross back. Sorry, just seems like unless you have a bond to survive the ages (and it doesn’t sound like you do), I just don’t see this working out in anyone’s favor.
Right? Also, the physical part is a huge betrayal, obviously, but it's almost beside the point if they were close enough to move in together after a month
There are so many comments with a variation on “this is why you shouldn't wait until marriage” and making remarks about purity culture, etc… but it's completely and utterly irrelevant here.
She knew she wasn't sexually attracted to him before the marriage took place, but let it continue. If she had been honest in how she felt the mess could've been avoided.
Its over then? Idk what you’re asking
I'm probably going to be dragged…
Can she not plan some outings or activities. Guide/show him what you like
Love languages differ. Why is he the only one being bashed for not stepping out of his comfort zone of planning
Yes, his arguments are off, but it takes two. Not just him because he's the man.
I wasn't trying to do a “gotcha!” I was just generally curious. That's rough, I'm not going to defend those men, shitty thing to do. Thank you for the sources!
It sounds like they're going to cause drama no matter what you do. So focus on what is best for you. If you feel more secure telling them when you are a bit farther along, then wait until you're ready. If you want to get it out of the way early, then send them a text and ignore any negative responses.