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Date: October 6, 2022
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I dunno man. I feel like you're making pretty logical statements about what's going on but people are giving you bad advice and demonizing you.
I think you're handling this really well, and I agree with the sentiment that you want a partner that can either weather this with you or communicate about their needs, e.g. space and time to develop their feelings.
This is something you could have hidden from her entirely, but you didn't. I commend you for being open and communicating with your partner. Maybe your partner will learn how to communicate with you, or maybe you'll find a partner who is willing to keep an open dialogue even when things get heavy.
Best of luck.
Run now and give hime no additional personal information. If these are the red flags he's showing now, it only gets worse the more you begin to rely on him. Don't ignore the small stuff in hopes it won't become big stuff because it always becomes big stuff.
He's likely testing the waters right now. Seeing how far he can cross into your boundaries without serious consequences. He will cry and guilt you and play it off like you're the one being over-emotional, that you're the one who's hurting him, that it's your fault the relationship isnt working, and trust me when I say that is not true. It's gaslighting. He's manipulating you. If you said no and he forced you into relations, you KNOW what that is. It's no longer something that happens to other people.
And you need to make a choice now while you can. Choose if this behaviour is acceptable, or choose if your boundaries/autonomy/safety are worth more than to be this man's possession.
Please, as someone who forgave the little things and found out the naked way, protect your safety/boundaries/autonomy more than anything and never reduce yourself to being someone else's possession.
I wish you luck, safety, and happiness.
Cut some stuff out to make it clear and direct. Right now you have “I'm breaking up but maybe I'm not” and repeating yourself too much. Simplier is actually kinder, and don't backpeddle.
Try this:
Hello, I wanted to wait it out but I can't anymore. I care about you, I don't know what's going on, and I wish you would let me help. I understand you need your space, but going so long without communication is hurting me too much, feel worried, alone and isolated. I just want to be there for you the best I can. I would really like to talk someday again but I hope you can understand that i need to take care of myself in the same way you are trying to take care of yourself and I hope you are getting the help you need.
I really care for you and I hope we can end on good terms and perhaps be friends again one day. I miss you. And I'm always here for you.
Do you need a clearer sign? Here it is: her words don't match her actions.
Block him and don't talk to him, then go out with his best friend. Or move on better men in the world then your shitty ex.