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Bunny, 25 y.o.
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Date: November 1, 2022
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Nobody is taking this personally….we’re simply pointing out inconsistencies and contradictions in your own words. If you take that as being “personal” then that’s on you.
Not to mention 1 year ago responding to MF4M adds. Comments and posts are forever on Reddit. It’s easy to recover them.
No. Don't even ask for a raise. Update your resume, add to it the tasks you're doing now in payroll, put in great detail the other tasks you're doing as an assistant, and send your resume everywhere. Update your LinkedIn as well, I found positions there and a lot of people I know did too.
From experience, you will get nothing if you ask for a raise now, except perhaps an angry boss. In the last company I was, I was desperate for a job because the other position I had was ending (not from something I did wrong, it was just a contract for a set time) and I accepted a low salary at the new company. Three months after joining, I learned that a brand new employee (he joined after me) doing the exact same job I was doing, and with the exact same experience as me, was making three times more than me. So what was different between the other employee and me? He was male, I'm female.
I asked for a raise, explained that I was doing a lot and earning a lot for the company (I normally did in one afternoon tasks that were programmed to be done in at least half a week) and explained that the other employee was doing exactly the same job as me and had exactly the same experience but he was making 3 times more. The company replied with a… 5% raise to my salary. So, I aggressively searched for another job, and three months later I was gone. They even tried to keep me and asked me what did they need to do to keep me but I told them “you should have paid me as much as my male colleague, which you refused to do, so here we are and no, I'm not staying at this point even if you do offer me that salary now”. The hypocrites even said that they were sad to see me go and that the doors were open if I decided to come back… too little too late.
Take this as an opportunity to add a new talent to your resume, and a learning experience: always ask, when you join a company, what are your responsibilities and don't do more than you're being paid for. Do, of course, the tasks you're being paid for to the best of your abilities.
Oh mate, this sounds like an absolute clusterfuck. This isn't what a healthy relationship looks like.
Let him go love! I promise you there is way better out there that will treat you the way you deserve and won’t cause you mental turmoil!
We do not earn equally in my relationship and we split proportionally.
You either split proportionally or you live at the affordability of the lower income person. And by affordability I mean what is actually affordable, not the lower income person giving up every penny to keep up.
If he doesn’t agree to split proportionally, then do a budget for yourself including any outgoings, plus money for savings. Then that’s the limit of your lifestyle – advise him of any changes that need to be made to enable you to keep within your budget.
Although personally I would consider leaving. There’s something deeply unattractive about someone who’s willing to watch someone they supposedly love to struggle financially.