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C H E S K A, y.o.
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Date: December 1, 2022
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I'm not currentlt engaged but living with my SO for the past 4 years. We both share a career and met during college, and we are just now getting anable enough in our careers that we started thinking about engagement and marriage. To be honest, since we already live! together I don't think an engagement or marriage would even change anything; of course we will do it eventually but it's just a status at the end of the day, we already share finances, bills, pets, etc.
This might just be a cultural difference thing, but if you truly see a future with your SO, getting engaged right now or a couple years in the future won't matter that much. Of course, some people see engagement/marriage as a sort of “seal the deal”, vote of confidence kind of thing, so to him you getting engaged before he has his life set financially might be like a meaningful signaling of trust for example. If you do go that route though, do it because you love him and see a future with him and not because “everyone is doing it”.
You need to talk to her about it. Letting Reddit speculate and guess is only going to complicate this more for you.
You run and run far and fast
This the type of guy who says women shouldn’t have an abortion when a woman is raped, but would leave if it happened to you because “he doesn’t want to raise someone else’s kid”.
What do you mean if he gets you something “extra” though? Is he paying the groceries?
If he wanted to be with her, then their wouldn't be a you.
If he wanted her sex, then he wouldn't be lying down with you.
That in itself just shoes you have something he likes more than her, whether it be sex, or just you.. at least it's you. ?
The important factor that you didn’t mention, is if you actually liked him/were interested in him, beyond thinking he is ‘pretty’. I feel that would make a fairly big difference.
Testosterone can cause anger spikes. My brother experienced them very severely when he was transitioning.
That doesn't mean the source of his anger is invalid. He's angry at you because you're putting the feelings of the people who have disowned him over his, when he's not the one who has done anything wrong. You're asking him to stop hormones that may well be saving his life (and are certainly drastically improving it) so that you don't have to have a difficult conversation with his grandparents. He is right to be angry about that and yes, it's transphobic even if it comes from ignorance rather than malice.
You have the entire internet at your fingertips. You can figure this stuff out yourself. It's not your son's responsibility to teach you how to be a supportive parent.
Also you mention your husband briefly, is your husband against his transition? If so, that is probably also going to be a barrier to your relationship if you're not willing to draw a line in the sand on behalf of your child. Where is your inner mama bear? Protect your child.
Your boyfriend is an idiot. You don't move an unemployed addict in.
His friend needs to get her shit together but not in your home or with your boyfriend funding her.
Good for you for telling him you would move out if he wants to move her in.
Children's brains are like sponges. They will absorb the good and the bad. If your situation with your parents is a constant source of stress, that will affect your child. My parents have been arguing for over 50yrs. I told my sisters several years ago to try to minimize the amount of time they spend around them.
I really don't think he was, he's always been honest and faithful if it was the reason he would have told it ((I know he never lies bc he never felt the need to, in his mind he's never wrong bc he always had a good justification so he never cared about hurting others feelings while telling his truth)) I assumed he was acting distant bc he was having a nude time with his lectures he's studying engineering and I know it can be very hot I was just trying to be patient to not mess up 4 years only for a few bad weeks thus why I kept trying for all these 6 weeks