he told me his brother gives him his credit card to use for things instead of actual weekly money like a regular job would.
OK, what???
This is a red flag–either your BF is a gullible dunce who doesn't understand how this is fucking him over or he's lying to you about getting paid and maybe it's “under the table” to avoid taxes? Or some other reason but either way you need to pull the breaks on this relationship until he answers some questions.
“All is well” –No, all is not well because you can't save money from using someone else's credit card, nor can you report it as a job you're performing because there's no legal record of it–like, if he ever interviews elsewhere–nor is it a sustainable plan to pay for anything. It's just, all around, incredibly bizarre and you need to confront him on it.
yeah I would. I've been in a similar situation when a good friend of mine started having an affair with my ex very shortly after we split up (she was living with someone else). I was a little salty about it and baffled because I thought she knew he was abusive, and wondered if she did it to get back at me for spending so much time with her partner (my bff). They were an item for a year or two iirc. Anyway I didn't let it interfere with our friendship and it's all water long under the bridge by now (30 years ago).
You are lucky to have a man who loves you. However, his background which apparently has abandonment issues is causing him to react in this way. The easy way out is to say, don't tell him that. But that is a cop out. Sex is the ultimate expression of love and by all means,tell him you love him every chance you get. I would suggest you discuss this with a Sex Theapist wh can dig into the reason why he cums when you say the majic words. You deserve to enjoy sex as much as possible for as long as you can. Telling him that you love him should close the book on that chapter. Have him checked out & good luck!
What can you do but lay low? Don’t go there unless you’re completely sober!
he told me his brother gives him his credit card to use for things instead of actual weekly money like a regular job would.
OK, what???
This is a red flag–either your BF is a gullible dunce who doesn't understand how this is fucking him over or he's lying to you about getting paid and maybe it's “under the table” to avoid taxes? Or some other reason but either way you need to pull the breaks on this relationship until he answers some questions.
“All is well” –No, all is not well because you can't save money from using someone else's credit card, nor can you report it as a job you're performing because there's no legal record of it–like, if he ever interviews elsewhere–nor is it a sustainable plan to pay for anything. It's just, all around, incredibly bizarre and you need to confront him on it.
Have you talked to him about it?
yeah I would. I've been in a similar situation when a good friend of mine started having an affair with my ex very shortly after we split up (she was living with someone else). I was a little salty about it and baffled because I thought she knew he was abusive, and wondered if she did it to get back at me for spending so much time with her partner (my bff). They were an item for a year or two iirc. Anyway I didn't let it interfere with our friendship and it's all water long under the bridge by now (30 years ago).
You are lucky to have a man who loves you. However, his background which apparently has abandonment issues is causing him to react in this way. The easy way out is to say, don't tell him that. But that is a cop out. Sex is the ultimate expression of love and by all means,tell him you love him every chance you get. I would suggest you discuss this with a Sex Theapist wh can dig into the reason why he cums when you say the majic words. You deserve to enjoy sex as much as possible for as long as you can. Telling him that you love him should close the book on that chapter. Have him checked out & good luck!